Inside Margaret Ellis brain of Colorado Springs' brain.
Inside Margaret Ellis brain of Colorado Springs’ brain.

Colorado Springs, CO — Margaret Ellis is a concerned Republican woman in the usually quiet and proudly politically conservative hamlet of Colorado Springs, CO. As an avid and self-proclaimed “news junkie,” the stay-at-home mother of two monitors several websites hourly for the news that impacts her life. Recently, she asked her Facebook friends, “[w]hat would Ronald Reagan do about the pending Iran nuclear deal?”

“Reagan turned the economy around and got us on a track that I think set up the economy as it exists until Barack Hussein Obama destroyed it with his Israel-hating socialism,” said Ms. Ellis in a Gish Gallop telephone interview from her home. “Look what Obama has done by actually negotiating with the Iranians. He’s actually talking to him when he should be bombing them. Reagan wouldn’t negotiate with terrorists.”

Despite Reagan’s claims to the contrary, handwritten notes taken by then Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger on December 7, 1985, indicate that Ronald Reagan was aware of “potential” hostage transfers with Iran, as well as the sale of Hawk and TOW missiles to “moderate elements” within that country.

After the weapon sales were revealed in November 1986, Reagan appeared on national television and stated that the weapons transfers had indeed occurred, but that the United States did not trade arms for hostages. Which, of course, was a lie. This set the stage for what is now called “the Lying President” meme perfected by subsequent Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush.

The Tower Commission, appointed by President Reagan, found that he did nothing wrong.
The Tower Commission, which was commissioned by President Reagan, found that he did nothing wrong. What are the odds of that?

“Ronald Reagan was tough,” continued Ms. Ellis. “He was tough with Lebanon as well. And really tough with Nicaragua and El Salvador. He didn’t accept any of than Communist and Jihad stuff from them. We could use another Ronald Reagan again, not this thing we have in the office now.”

The Boland Amendment was passed in three separate amendments in 1982 and 1984, all aimed at limiting U.S. government assistance to the Contras in Nicaragua. The Reagan Administration circumvented the Amendment, without consent of Congress, in order to continue supplying arms to the Contras. This is technically an act of treason, which Ronald Reagan was handsomely rewarded with accolades and a post-Presidential Library.

“It’s just a shame that this Muslim President is siding with the terrorists,” said an irritated yet resigned Ms. Ellis. “I mean, how could Obama have such contempt for the United States people and government by not obeying our laws? And what about the righteous people of Israel? Who’s going to protect them from these evil Islamic forces? Not Obama, I’m telling you.”

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