Palm Beach, FL — Former President Trump made what many thought at first was a gaff this morning when speaking with Fox News’ Fox and Friends when he told over 14 million viewers to “eat your shit” as a COVID-19 treatment.
“Well, see that that thing, Brian, and many people don’t know this. But I have many doctor friends who visit me here at Mar-a-Lago, and more than one of them told me that eating your our shit might help prevent this COVID thing,” Trump told a shocked Brian Kilmeade. “And let me tell you, it’s not something I’m gonna try, but it’s worth looking into.”
At first, the Fox and Friends crew were dumbfounded by the comment and then began to chuckle, not understanding that Trump was serious.
“The president is quite serious about this,” said Trump spokesperson Liz Harrington following his television call-in appearance. “All freedom-loving patriots should look into this treatment.”
In 2020, it was bleach, in 2021, it was horse paste, and now in 2022, it’s your piss and shit as “cures” for COVID-19.
“Well, we all know how the fake news media lies,” said Cravis Tilden of Mersey, Kansas, who is currently out on bail in connection with the January 6th insurrection. “I’ve had COVID twice now, and both bleach and ivermectin kept me from dying when I was in the hospital each time. So now I’m saving up my shit just like my ‘ma used to save bacon grease under the sink. I’m looking forward to eating shit.”