Trump Proposes Wall Around Puerto Rico

President Trump floated the idea of building a wall around the US Colony Puerto Rico this week.
President Trump floated the idea of building a wall around the US Colony Puerto Rico this week.

Washington D.C. — Consecutive hurricanes have battered the Caribbean island of Puerto Rico. Much of the island is still without power and clean water, with many organizations working tirelessly to bring relief to the island’s residents. However due to the level of damage aid is not able to progress fast enough.

President Trump spoke today from the White House, offering up a new plan to ease the minds of worried Americans. In an impromptu press conference in the White House Rose Garden, he said that he intends to build a wall around Puerto Rico. The wall would be 15 feet high and would cost approximately $17 Billion dollars to build.

“Out of sight, out of mind,” Mr. Trump stated when he was asked why he would order a wall built. “We can either spend a Trillion dollars rebuilding Puerto Rico, which would probably just get wiped out again, or we can build a wall so none of our great citizens have to deal with the ungrateful people there. And believe me, I’m sick and tired of all their parades too.”

The new plan has ignited the American political Left on the mainland, who already want to impeach President Trump. Political adversaries are attacking Trump with renewed vigor after the wall announcement, calling for his head to roll.

One of those speaking out against Trump is a political activist and radio show host, Shauna Wilson, who spoke with Gish Gallop about the proposed Puerto Rico wall.

“I, like everyone else, am stunned. Just when I thought things could not get any more stupid, Trump opens his mouth again,” said Shauna. “I will pledge all of my effort to defeating Trump’s plans. He’s picking his cronies over American citizens.”

Some Puerto Ricans are actually agreeing to build the wall for Trump. Many want the building materials delivered right away.

Island resident Miguel Santos said, “No problem, just send us the building materials as fast as you can, we will make sure they go to the right place”. Miguel gave a wink after speaking.

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Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.