Bedminister, NJ — In what many are calling shocking but not surprising Donald Trump news cycle, the President today pardoned indicted rapist David Brasel after he played “a hell of a game on the back nine,” according to President Trump.

David Brasel, 67, who’s a fellow New York real estate mogul and “a good guy who’s been treated very badly” according to President Trump, was arrested earlier this year after being accused by an undisclosed number of women of sexual assault.

Brasel was once considered Donald Trump’s protege in the 1980s when a younger Trump was getting into the casino business. Due to his connections with organized crime, Mr. Brasel was able to secure badly needed cash for Trump’s failing companies. However, over the years, he distanced himself from Brasel primarily due to Trump’s new financial connections with Deutsche Bank, who loaned him millions of dollars.

President Trump: “He’s Amazing”

“I’ve known David a long time,” said Mr. Trump as he made his way to the Presidential helicopter Marine One, “And believe me, he’s an amazing individual; a family man who’s been treated very badly by anonymous accusers. And I know exactly what it feels like to be treated so badly.”

Although the White House declined to state whether Mr. Brasel’s pardon was based on his “incredible golf performance,” they did reiterate President Trump’s assertion that he is innocent and the target of a “Democrat smear campaign.”

“We all know how the Democrats behave,” said Trump counselor Kellyanne Conway as she attempted to sneak out of the White House for the weekend. “They just make things up. They lie, and you know that. They are doing whatever they can to get at the President. And David [Brasel] was an easy target for them.”

On the campaign trail two years ago when his connections to Brasel came out, Mr. Trump dismissed his friendship saying “I didn’t know David, but he did like the women, that I can tell you.” He has since fought-off questions over the last two years on the topic

It’s unclear why they recently rekindled their friendship over a few games of golf. The pardon takes effect immediately. Reid Sipriano, Mr. Brasel’s lawyer, says the President’s actions completely exonerates his client of any wrong-doing.

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