Washington, D.C. — During what some are calling “Trump’s rant” during his telephone interview on the popular morning Fox News talk show Fox and Friends, President Trump briefly mentioned that he was considering pardoning Bill Cosby. When asked for clarification, he said that he had spoken with both Sylvester Stallone and Rosanne Barr about the Mr. Cosby’s unfair treatment by his accusers, the press and the Philadelphia prosecutor, and both agree that he needed to take action.
“You know I was saying to myself, this is terribly unfair to Bill [Cosby]. The way he is being treated by the press and these women,” said a somewhat angry Trump to the surprised Fox and Friends hosts. “I mean, look what they’ve done to this man. He’s an American icon. They call him ‘America’s Dad.'”
When asked what Mr. Trump plans on doing, the president didn’t miss a beat, cutting off the hosts mid-sentence.
“Well I gotta tell you, I’m thinking about a pardon, but we have to wait and see. I definitely know how he feels, believe me. Besides, they don’t know what the hell they’re doing in Philly. Best best cheese steak [sandwich] is at Trump tower now, anyway.”
Some have speculated that the pardoning of Cosby could be a practice, or testing, run in preparation for the potential pardoning of Flynn, Manafort, Page, Gates, Cohen, Hannity, and Spuds MacKenzie.
“This should vindicate white people forever,” said Fox News’ Sean Hannity during his popular evening show. “He has the power to let a black man roam free on our streets. That will drive Liberals crazy. And you know that jury was stocked full of people who probably hate our great President.”
When asked for clarification on the President’s comments, press Secretary Sarah Sanders said that he was misunderstood and was not talking about Bill Cosby and that the President has never met the man.