Trump Doesn’t Know Who Bill Is In Congress

President Trump wants to find out who this "Bill" is.
President Trump wants to find out who this “Bill” is.

Washington D.C. — President Trump has been busy lately putting together the new Health Care Act that will replace Obamacare. But even though he is a few months into his Presidency, he feels that he does not know all of his colleagues in Congress.

President Trump has been at a loss after hearing colleagues discuss someone named “Bill” in Congress. What perplexes him is there is never a last name associated with Bill.

“I don’t know who the hell this Bill hombre is,” said Trump. “I don’t know where his loyalties lie, is he on our payroll? I don’t know, and I don’t like it.”

President Trump has involved the CIA to try to gather intelligence on who Bill is. Though the CIA has met with limited success, they were unable to gather any solid info using their vast network of phone taps. All that the CIA could come up with were Congress people talking about Bill in taped phone conversations.

House Republicans were overheard discussing health care with Bill in the hallways of the Capitol Building.

Republican Paul Ryan was overheard saying, “This Bill, is going to blow the roof off of health care. We will destroy Obamacare once and for all and resume killing the poor, and its all thanks to you Bill. I can’t wait to see Pelosi cry.”

Bill is becoming a major power broker inside the Beltway. Attempts by this reporter to unmask Bill have been unsuccessful. At every turn, a dead-end. Yet Bill is on the lips of every Congress person.

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Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.