A Typical Trader Joe's layout
A Typical Trader Joe’s layout

Monrovia, CA/Nevada County, CA– In an unusual press release from the grocery giant, Trader Joe’s Director of Marketing James Washburn has told the citizens of Nevada County to “…shut the hell up, already. We heard you. We get it. You want a Trader Joe’s.”

Trader Joe’s is an American privately held chain of specialty grocery stores headquartered in Monrovia, California, in Greater Los Angeles. As of August 16th 2015, Trader Joe’s had a total of 418 stores. Approximately half of its stores are in California, with the heaviest concentration in Southern California, but the company also has locations in 38 other states and Washington, D.C.

“I think it’s so great that Trader Joe’s has heard our requests,” exclaimed Janet Williams outside of the Sutton Way Safeway. “I’ve written them letters each week for the past 2 years requesting that they open a store here in Grass Valley.”

According to Mr. Washburn, “Trader Joe’s appreciates Nevada County’s enthusiasm for our stores, and it’s this kind of customer spirit that drives us to do what we do. But unfortunately, we have no plans to open a store anytime in the near future. The local population numbers can’t support it. So please, seriously, stop emailing and calling us.”

“We need a Trader Joe’s in Nevada County,” an enthusiastic Stacy Grant of Nevada City said. “We will support Trader Joe’s. We will go there everyday for our shrink-wrapped, frozen swordfish needs.”

While this news may be a disappointment to some Nevada County residents, they can take relief in the 15th Dollar Store Opening in Grass Valley to help satisfy their shopping urges.

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