Police Sue Woman for Blocking Tear Gas with Her Face

Washington D.C. — A White House protester faces legal action after the Texas Bureau of Prisons (TBP) sued Michelle Jefferson for interfering with their “crowd control efforts.” Jefferson, 32, of Windsor, CA, was admitted to the hospital last week after receiving, according to authorities, “peacemaking measures to her face.”

“We’d decided to take legal action against Ms. Jefferson as she interfered with our peace operations,” said TBP spokesperson Director Dick Hunt speaking from Austin, Texas, earlier today. “The Texas Bureau of Prisons takes our efforts very seriously, and looters will not deter us with signs interfering with our actions.”

According to the motion filed in Texas’s Supreme Court, the TBP is seeking over $14 million in “compensatory and slander” damages from Ms. Jefferson, who “deliberately interfered with a White House-sanctioned police action using her face.”

“When trying to control 40 or 50 protesters at once, State Officer Brian Lurk grew frustrated by one Ms. Jefferson, a frontline protester, when she rudely blocked the launch of tear gas canister,” continued Director Hunt. “Imagine the shame and embarrassment our proud law enforcement officer had to face, pardon the pun, when this inconsiderate protester mocked his efforts. He’s just following orders. Ms. Jefferson was only thinking about herself.”

Ms. Jefferson, who remains in a coma at George Washington Hospital, did not comment regarding the incident. Others at the scene, however, did.

“We had just finished singing ‘Give Peace a Chance,” when these unbadged guys with guns started marching on us,” said Damion Williams of Chicago, who made the trip to Washington D.C. last week to protest. “That’s when they started firing tear gas smoke bombs into us. I was right next to Michelle when she got hit. I tried to help her, but these police people told me to move if I didn’t want the same. That’s when I got hit with pepper pellets.”

An initial hearing for the lawsuit is scheduled for July 12th. It’s unclear if Ms. Jefferson will be awake by then.

Mike Tesh
Mike Tesh
Michael Tesh has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it all more quickly and with less pain.

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