The Cowardly Lion Killed By Trophy Hunters

Cowardly Lion in "Wizard of Oz"
Cowardly Lion in “Wizard of Oz”

Edgerton, KS — Sad news broke today that  beloved childhood character, The Cowardly Lion, was killed today by sport trophy hunters. The Cowardly Lion was best known for his role in “The Wizard Of Oz”, filmed in 1939.

Witnesses say that two men carrying high power rifles walked in to the Last Days Nursing Home in Edgerton, KS and shot the Cowardly Lion as he lay in bed.

“These men all wearing military type clothing and all smelling of stale beer and beef jerky, came running in through the front door,”  said witness Juanita Reyes, RN,  about the killing. “They knew right where to go. They walked in and just killed him. They picked his body up and all posed for pictures before leaving. They carried him out whooping and yelling.”

Kansas Fish and Game told Gish Gallop that no charges will be filed. The hunters had legal permits and paid a large fee for the rights to kill the Cowardly Lion. They went on to say that it was good for the species, population control is important. Killing the infirm and elderly lions benefits them.

The Cowardly Lion was 94 years old. A memorial will be held at Billy Joe Renoldo’s home where the Cowardly Lion has been stuffed and is on display.

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Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.