Camden, NJ — In what industry critics call a bold move to connect with its core customer base, Japanese automaker Subaru announced earlier this week that it plans to release a limited run of a new Bernie Sanders Outback Limited Edition or BSOLE (pronounced “Bee-Soul-Lee”). The version of the popular model will feature several innovative add-on options not generally associated with an automobile purchase.
“We are excited to offer such a fresh take on the car buying experience,” said Subaru of America spokesperson Carolyn Mullane during a company conference call early this week. “There are many things our customers expect beyond quality and reliability. And we here at Subaru want to enhance their experience with several non-traditional options in the 2023 Outback.”
Although with its traditional suburban-but-I-could-go-off-roading-at-any-minute-if-I-wasn’t-working-65-hours-per-week stylings, the new Bernie Sanders Outback LE will come with a pre-applied retrospective 2020 “Feel the Bern” bumper stickers. Select models will also display a prominently displayed pre-installed Yakima roof storage container with a “Billionaires Can’t Buy Bernie” emblem.
“We know how important it is for our customers to express themselves,” continued Ms. Mullane, “so we’ve factory-installed various pro-Sanders slogans in different places in the car, both inside and out. For example, when turning on the car, the infotainment system welcomes the driver with random Senator Sanders quotes such as ‘the goal of real healthcare reform must be high-quality, universal coverage in a cost-effective way.’ Drivers can also hear, ‘I see a future where getting to work, school, or the store does not have to cause pollution.’ We feel these progressive, inspirational quotes will appeal to our customers.”
Subaru said there is no electric version of the vehicle, but they consider it 2024 if President Trump gets elected.
Some of the options available for the 2023 BSOLE will be one free year of Canadian healthcare (or Medicare For All if passed), and perhaps more controversial, six months of interest-free financing with a guaranteed income during that time. Both options are expensive at over $30,000 each, but Subaru thinks many customers will opt for them.