Palo Alto, CA — In this first of its kind study, the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation is performing a real-time examination of this very article you are reading and has determined that 31% of all social media users will label this article as “fake news” without even taking the time to read the article.

The study, which has been going on for several minutes, is attempting to understand how lazy the average American is, and how quick they are to judge something with little or no evidence to support their claims.

“Well, the data doesn’t lie,” said Rundex lead researcher Robert Colvin speaking from his Mountain View, CA home office where he’s monitoring the activity on this article. “It started out really small, say 3% calling this article ‘fake news’ with about 87% of people not bothering to read the actual article. But as the Facebook advertising kicked in, the ‘fake news’ reports jumped to over 31%, with 93% of those users failing to actually read the article.”

In recent weeks, the mainstream media has spent a considerable amount of time reporting on the “fake news epidemic.” Many of the major news networks, who themselves have been caught reporting “fake news” such as Dan Rather’s now infamous President George W. Bush fake coast guard letters and more recently, NBC’s news habitual liar Brian Williams who made up facts during his national news broadcast, have tracked down fake news writers and attempted to get them to atone for their sins.


Although these attempts were somewhat sensational, they have had the desired effect of shaming the general public’s gullibility. And in a more recent development, the mainstream press has encouraged even more rash behavior of social media users: labeling just about everything they see, except for the major news outlets, as fake news.

“Well. I gotta tell ya,” continued Robert Colvin, “this is has been a brilliant propaganda campaign by the major media outlets. It’s ironic when Liberals complain about Donald Trump’s authoritarian streak when they are so easily manipulated by a bunch of media oligarchs. I’d laugh if I could stop shaking my head. ”

As of this writing, the number of fake news reports on this article has fluctuated between 37% to a whopping 48%, with an average of 93% of Facebook users making their decision on the fancy featured image and the headline, never bothering to actually read it.

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