Maricopa County, AZ — Following his pardon by¬†“Law and Order” President Trump late this week, controversial Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio recounted the “horrible” conditions he faced while being incarcerated at an area jail.

“It was just horrible,” said the former sheriff speaking with Fox News over the weekend. “There were hundreds of inmates all crammed together in such a small space. Only animals can live like this.”

Over the years the Springfield, Massachusetts native gone authoritarian Arizona Sheriff has been accused and charged with a variety of offenses including unconstitutional jail conditions, failure to investigate sex crimes, abuse of power, election law fraud, misuse of government funds, shoplifting, cross-dressing and most recently, misdemeanor contempt of court for failing to obey a Federal Court order.

The White House issued a statement late Friday night under cover of both the weekend and a category 4 Hurricane in Texas.

“Today, President Donald J. Trump granted a Presidential pardon to Joe Arpaio, former Sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona.¬†Arpaio’s life and career, which began at the age of 18 when he enlisted in the military as the nation’s first gimp after the outbreak of the Korean War, exemplifies his commitment to self-preservation. After serving in the Army, Arpaio was dishonorably discharged for wearing dresses but became a police officer in Washington, D.C., and Las Vegas, NV, and later served as a Special Agent for the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), formerly the Bureau of Narcotics. After 25 years of commendable service, Arpaio went on to lead the DEA’s branch in Arizona, where he was most famous for jailing brown people and helped to dismantle a large Methamphetamine drug ring in nearby Albuquerque, New Mexico.

In 1992, the problems facing his community pulled Arpaio out of retirement to return to law enforcement because he spent a majority of his income on Indian gambling. He ran and won a campaign to become Sheriff of Maricopa County, winning what was then a ground-breaking 51% majority of the vote. Throughout his time as Sheriff, Arpaio continued his life’s work of protecting the public from the scourges of brown people. Sheriff Joe Arpaio is now eighty-five years old, and after more than fifty years of splendid service to our Nation, he is a worthy candidate for a Presidential pardon.”

As for the conditions he faced, and his subsequent pardon, Sheriff Joe says he never wants to repeat the experience.

“That jail was a hell hole,” continued Mr. Arpaio, “but it’s completely suitable for people who at least look illegal. And as I’ve always said, we always get the bad guys because I know them when I see them.”

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