Seth Rogan Assaulted at “Sausage Party” Premiere

Seth Rogan was assaulted during the premiere of his latest film Sausage Party.
Seth Rogan was assaulted during the premiere of his latest film Sausage Party.

Los Angeles, CA — Seth Rogan has created another box office hit with the movie “Sausage Party”, where grocery store vegetables come to life. But tragedy struck at a showing of the box office hit that Rogan attended.

Rogan was at his movie’s premiere at a small theater in the LA suburb of Ontario. The gala event was attended by over 100 gay men who had apparently gotten the wrong message. Shortly after the film began, Mr. Rogan who was sitting near the middle of the theater, was attacked by the disgruntled movie patrons many of whom were asking for their money back. One unidentified man informed the comedian that he was going to “shove his Charleston Chew up his ass” like he “did with the ricin in The Interview,” according to testimony Mr. Rogan gave to the police, referring to the controversial 2014 film. And apparently the man did just that, although details are sketchy at this time.

Mr. Rogan was taken to LA General Hospital to assess his injuries. Movie patron Robert Swagert spoke with Gish Gallop about the riot.

“My bros and I were all set for a sweet movie, until like, 30 guys or so stood up and started yelling at Seth,”  said Swagert, “This one guy ran up to him and started wagging a candy bar at him. Then he screamed something about it being frozen or something. It was horrible.”

Seth Rogan’s personal assistant released this statement.

“Seth is at home, recovering from his injuries. He is on bed rest for the next 10 days. We want to express to people that Sausage Party is simply the name of the movie and not any kind of innuendo.”

Authorities are reviewing security footage in order to press charges .

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Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.