New York City, NY – Fox News host Sean Hannity has reportedly purchased over 2-inches of prime real estate owned by Donald Trump, snatching up a cozy, undeveloped property located between the president’s hairy ballsac and asshole.
According to public records obtained by Gish Gallop, Hannity paid $7.5 million for the fleshy stretch of skin between President Trump’s anus and scrotum, commonly known as the ‘jungle bridge‘, or ‘taint.’
“I figured what the hell, I spend so much time swinging on the president’s clappers that I may as well live there,” Hannity joked on his nationally syndicated radio program, The Sean Hannity Show.
“It’s all about location,” he said, “to live within earshot of the president, especially in my line of work, was an opportunity I couldn’t resist, and trust me, I got a great deal.”
Hannity has been a loyal, constant cheerleader for the commander-in-chief, choosing to focus on debunked conspiracy theories into the murder of DNC staffer, Seth Rich, instead of bombshell revelations into Trump’s possible collusion with Russia.
“What did you expect, real journalism?” asked MSNBC’s rival prime time political commentator, Rachel Maddow. “Hannity’s tongue is so far up Trump’s balloon knot he couldn’t get it out if he tried. Makes perfect sense he would relocate his entire family and live there full-time.”
Documents obtained by Gish Gallop show that Trump’s jungle bridge was recently appraised at $10 million dollars, proving Hannity’s boasts of a “great deal.”