Madison, WI — Shortly after Scott Walker conceded his run for Wisconsin Governor to Democrat Tony Evers, he informed the press corp that he has accepted a bell boy job at Madison Concourse Hotel. The Hotel, which is a Trump Enterprises property, is well suited for the 2 term Wisconsin governor as it will allow him to ease back into the hectic pace of the upper-Midwest rat race.
“I know I’ve let a lot of people down,” said Governor Walker in an after-hours informal press conference. “I had many supporters who spent a lot of resources in our campaign. So I’m planning on working at the Concourse [Hotel] until I can get my feet back on the ground, you know? The people of Wisconsin need me, and I’m just not there for them at the moment.”
According to Concourse General Manager Noel Aikins, Mr. Walker will be a valuable asset to the hotel’s team.
“We are excited to have Scott on as our latest bellman,” said Mr. Aikins in a Gish Gallop telephone Interview. “He’s worked hard representing Wisconsin and the Koch Brothers. So we understand that he needs a change of pace in Madison’s finest lodging institution. Mr. Trump told us specifically not to treat him any differently than any other employee. Which is exactly what Scott told us. So we’re expecting a smooth transition.”
According to Concourse insiders, Mr. Walker has been planning his escape since the first Republican debates over a month ago. He has secretly been training to be “the best damn non-union bell boy in Wisconsin.” Some employees, however, has said that he has struggled with some of the simpler aspects of the job.
“Yeah, um, you know he really didn’t want to carry any bags at first,” said 12-year hotel housekeeping specialist Julie Hardy. “He would just look at the other bellman ask to say things like, ‘do you know who I am? I flew on chartered jets. You pick up the damn bags.’ Anyhow, Mr. Aikins told us to be nice to him, but don’t let him take advantage of us. So me and Misty would talk to him all sweet and dab his forehead with towels. That seemed to bring him around.”
It is unclear at the time of this writing how long Scott Walker will stay at the hotel, but according to GM Aikins, he can stay as long as he wants.
“Scott is welcome here,” continued Mr. Aikins. “But we’re sure he’ll eventually get back to being Governor and doing those things he’s known for like busting Unions and whatnot. Heck, there’s always 2020. So, in the meantime, he can get his mind in order here.”