Washington D.C. — Democrats across the United States strongly rebuked several Republican claims that the recent pipe bombing attempts across the country were apart of a coordinated “false flag”operation designed to make the Republicans look bad. In response to the numerous allegations from prominent GOP mouthpieces and Trump supporters, The Democrats claim they need no help to destroy their party. That, in the words of a usually silent Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. The Democrats are quite capable of ruining their chances by incorrectly identifying the issues that really matter to the American electorate.
“We need no help Mr. President dismantling our Party,” said Senator Schumer speaking from the Senate floor earlier today. “We have a long history of striking out at clutch times and I don’t see why we need Rush Limbaugh’s help impeding our efforts to take control of the Congress. We’re doing just fine by ourselves, thank you.”
Within minutes after the bombs were discovered, many marginal and under-medicated right-wing opinion makers started crying “false flag.” A false flag is a covert operation designed to deceive; the deception creates the appearance of a particular party, group, or nation being responsible for some activity, disguising the real source of responsibility. People who make such claims are usually really crazy.
However, despite this admission from the Nation’s most powerful Democrats, that didn’t stop conservative loudmouths from claiming that the Democrats staged the bombings.
“Investigators need to take a serious look at far left groups like #Antifa when investigating the bombs sent to Soros, Obama, and the Clintons,” John Cardillo, a right-wing media personality wrote in a now-deleted tweet. “These smell like the false flag tactics of unhinged leftists who know they’re losing.”
Still others were more unhinged such as youngster right-wing Charlie Kirk, who in a spiddle-filled Twitter rant, declared that it was a grand conspiracy to destroy President Trump.
“FALSE FLAG,” said the diaper-clad Mr. Kirk. “When you hear the mainstream media screaming about attempted violence by Trump supporters two weeks before Midterms just remember what leftists are capable of.”
As for the Democrats, they’re going to continue to self-destruct all the way up until the midterm elections and beyond.
“Like I said,” continued Senator Schumer, “we’re doing just fine. We don’t need the help of the GOP to screw up.”