John Travolta’s Got Chills, They’re Multiplying
Nevada City Technology Worker Pretends to Read James Joyce’s Ulysses
Area Man Immediately Regrets Picking Up Hitchhikers
Nation Begins to Shift Blame from Obama to Hillary
The USS Gerald Ford Awkwardly Stumbles at Sea
Osama Bin Laden To Colin Kaepernick: I Am Your Father
Boris Johnson Dies in Freak Refrigerator Accident
Taj Mahal Attacked By New Jersey Militia
Bigfoot Might Attack New Dollar General Store, Local Researcher Warns
Area Man Attempts to Smuggle Butchered Lamb After Vacation
CIA Agent Can’t Unsee What She’s Seen on Your Webcam
Trump Calls Punching Self in Dick “Patriotic”
Democrat Scientists Create New Virus To Avoid Going Back To Work
Children May Be The Solution to Gun Violence
Matt Drudge: Sean Hannity is a Whiner
Limbaugh And Palin Caught Cuddling In Montana Dive Bar
Illinois Nazi Party Concerned They ‘Backed A Total Loser’
Gary Larson Signs Exclusive 27 Year Deal with Gish Gallop
Local Roaster to Sell Poop-Processed Celebrity Coffee
Historians: Nevada City, CA Actually an Old Star Trek Episode Set
Clinton Rally Halted When Crowd Chants “Grab Them By The Weiner”
Tennessee Shutters Taco Bells For “Being Too Mexican”
Teenager Eats Entire Bag of Cough Drops
Trump Rally Attendees Test Positive For Dunning-Kruger Disease
Republicans Take Aim at Health Care
Rumors of Trump’s Stroke Mostly Untrue
Area Mother Regrets Naming Her Child GMO
Trump Mulling Canadian Wall to Keep Americans In
California DMV Accidentally Registers Several Comfy Sofas to Vote
Scott Walker Takes New Job at Trump Hotel In Madison
Sheriff Admits to Dealing Heroin at Correctional Facility
Area Resident Suspects Dell Tech Support’s Name is not “Wayne Dean”
Area Asshole Insists on Ordering Starbucks Drink at Local Coffee House
Man Trapped in Shower Survives on Wife’s Shampoo
4 Ways the Homeless Are Taking Your Jobs
“Americans Aren’t Stupid,” Claims Woman at Indoor Trump Rally
Copy/Pasting Mueller Report Into Microsoft Word Reveals Redactions
Satire Publication Apologizes for Accidentally Reporting Real News
Area Man Knows “Good Satire When He Sees It”
People Have Chemtrail Breath Internet Researcher Claims
Priapic Environmentalist Bragging about the Size of His Prius
POLL: Most Americans Unsure About Late-Term Abortion Unless The Fetus Is A Trump
Trump Ejects ‘Tiny, Infantile Protester With Giant Hands’ From Rally
Mike Pence Brings “Don’t Ask, Don’t tell” Policy to the White House
Vans New “Boot on Head” Marketing Campaign Deemed a Failure
