Sunday, April 18, 2021

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Public Still Trying To Discern Local Woman’s Cryptic Facebook Updates

Shelly Cryptic Facebook

Facebook — Friends, family and casual social media stalkers admitted late last week that they have no idea what area woman, stay-at-home mom and avid Facebooker Shelly Wagner is trying to say on the popular social medium. Ms. Wagner, 34, has been posting cryptic status updates and odd “meme” combinations constantly for the past 4 days leading friends to believe that she’s stopped sleeping and is neglecting her family.

“I have no idea what’s gotten into her,” said Janet Williams of Cedar Ridge. “No one knows what the hell she’s saying. At first we thought she was just horsing around. You know, ‘play trolling.’ But after a week of this, we’re all thinking that she may have lost it.”

According to her casual acquaintances, Ms. Wagner started posting one-word status updates featuring single words like “No” and “plenty” and “cats.” Even more concerning to her friends, was her complete misunderstanding of the Internet meme, erroneously mixing up text from one meme on an inappropriate image. One of the more serious violations had Ms. Wagner mixing the overly attached girlfriend meme image with the text of the  “Scumbag Steve.”


According to Ms. Williams, she attempted to contact Ms. Wagner over the telephone, but found that she had changed her Voicemail message to “corn dog.”

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