Oakland, CA's crack police drug dog is in jail tonight.
Oakland, CA’s crack police drug dog is in jail tonight.

Oakland, CA — Police forces have deployed drug sniffing dogs for years now. They have become a valuable asset in the war on drugs. It came as a shock when Buzz, Oakland Police Department drug sniffing dog, was caught selling catnip to neighborhood cats. Buzz was apprehended by his handler, Bob Smirnoff, selling the illegal felline drug to Mittens on his back porch. He patiently watched while the exchange went down, as soon as Buzz picked up the bone he was arrested by Smirnoff.

We spoke to Officer Smirnoff at his home where Buzz was being kept in a cage.

“I just cannot believe it, he has embarrassed the entire department,” Smirnoff yelled. “I keep getting angry calls from the neighborhood cat ladies yelling about how I’m responsible for their cats becoming addicts.”

One of those cat ladies is Marie Starlight, the owner of Starlight Bead Shop.

“He is just as responsible as that mutt,” she cried. “My poor Mittens is at home going through withdrawals, begging me to let her out. She even offered sexual favors, my poor baby!”

This will become a lesson for many in the neighborhood. Even the most trustworthy can let you down.

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