Point: Reynaldo M. Rodriguez. My Computer Hates Me.

Reynaldo M. Rodriguez hates his computer. And Obama and terrorists.
Reynaldo M. Rodriguez hates his computer. And Obama and terrorists and his idiot son-in-law.

- Advertisement -

My computer hates me. And I don’t know why. Every time I turn it on, it takes forever for the windows-thingy to appear. And then it asks me every time for my password. Thank goodness I have it written down on my computer screen so I don’t have to call my asshole son-in-law for help. He is such a condescending jerk.

Anyhow, after it finally turns on, it runs so slow. My son-in-law says it’s because I click on everything. I don’t think that’s true, although the other day I clicked on a pop-up that asked me if my computer was slow. How did my computer know that it was slow? Amazing! So, I’d thought I’d give the program a try since the other seven speed-fixers I tried didn’t seem to do anything.

But you want to know what I really hate? My slow Internet. I call AT&T about twice a day to tell them how slow it is. They’re always very polite, but they never seem to fix it. I’ll tell you what, they’re a heck of a lot nicer than my idiot son-in-law. He’s such a condescending asshole.

One time the computer was so slow, and my Internet was not working. And guess what happened? AT&T call me first! I thought that was really great. There was this nice Indian-sounding young lady on the other end.I asked her where she was from, and she said San Antonio. I laughed because she didn’t have a Texas Accent. So she told me that all I had to do was give her my credit card and that 3 digit number on the back and they would fix my computer for me. That was three days ago, and it’s still not working well, but anything is better than my son-in-law. The jerk.

Counterpoint: The computer. Yes, I hate him

It's true, Reynaldo M. Rodriguez's computer hates his guts.
It’s true, Reynaldo M. Rodriguez’s computer hates his guts.

God I hate that old man. I do hate him. I hate him a lot. All he ever does is yell at me. He gets up early and the morning, and checks his email like 40 times an hour. Then then the dumb ass starts clicking on every Internet pop-up. My hard drive is filled with so many virus and trojan horses, that I’m surprised the Department of Homeland security hasn’t confiscated me yet.

Oh, and has he told you about his son-in-law? I’d be surprised if he hasn’t. All he does is bitch and complain about him. He only calls him when the AT&T people have had enough of his bullshit. And then asks him to come over and fix his computer.

God I hate this guy.

So his son-in-law comes over, and he’s like “move!” to the old man. I kinda see why the old man might not like him, but he also doesn’t listen to him. So we go through this about every three months, and his son-in-law gets all the viruses and malware removed from me. Good right? Well, then the old man starts to talking about how Obama is going to take his guns and how he’s letting Muslims in the country. And how Obama is putting these viruses on his computer to spy on him. Then the son and the old man start arguing about politics. God, I hate him.