Nevada County, CA — “I, I just prayed for God to make something happen that will bring money to our area,” laments Pastor Daylin Lynch of Fire and Brimstone Lutheran Church, “God seems always to answer my prayers. That makes me an excellent and humble servant of the Lord.”

Much of northern California, particularly Nevada County, has received unprecedented rainfall levels since Pastor Lynch made that plea to God for an end to the drought of both water and money in this area. The old guy does make powerful prayers, sermons, and toasts.

While he takes credit for his powerful prayer for bringing much-needed rain to northern California, upon reflection, he realizes God is not a mind reader. “I guess I should watch how I word my prayers.”

Pastor Daylin Lynch is known for his fiery sermons and passionate prayers, prayers that are channeled directly into God’s ear, a fact his flock has not forgotten as the floods proceed apace in Nevada County.

“He had us join in a particularly heartfelt plea to God a couple of Sundays ago,” explains Janet Williams of Cedar Ridge, member of FaB Church, “he asked that something be done to get more money to this area. I’m sure he meant to help the homeless, but he didn’t say so.” Ms. Williams then told us about her reticence in joining Pastor Lynch’s prayers after prayer last October. The pastor prayed for relief from the drought affecting northern California. “I’ve seen the power of his prayers. He asked for rain this winter, and boy did God deliver.”

Collapsing roadways, mudslides, damaged spillways, flooded creeks, and massive erosion in the area have been linked directly to Pastor Lynch’s powerful but selfish prayers.

“I think I may have ruined Brunswick Road in my earnestness to commune with the Lord,” the pastor whined. “I mean, when you have a direct line to God, you have a lot of power. As a humble servant, I guess I am not ready to have that kind of power. Why couldn’t I ask God to give all the homeless homes, for Pete’s sake?”

Instead, Pastor Lynch asked God for a bunch of money to flow to this area. As flood-related emergencies unfold almost daily and local roads fall into a state of ruin due to one of his earlier prayers, emergency cash reserves will undoubtedly be pouring into the area.

Many who have driven over these broken roadways have uttered prayers as they drove over the broken spots, but alas, their prayers are nothing compared to the power of Pastor Lynch’s prayers, and Brunswick road has been broken.

The pastor muses, “To generalize is dangerous in prayer. Specificity alone has merit with the Lord.”

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