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October, 2021

Container Load of Sex Toys Wash Up on Alameda Shorefront

The accident underscores supply and distribution chain issues that keep economic growth flaccid.

Latest

Container Load of Sex Toys Wash Up on Alameda Shorefront

The accident underscores supply and distribution chain issues that keep economic growth flaccid.

Babylon Bee Announces Anti-Masturbation App

Christians have new hope for a current "hand-demic."

Online Ads for Giant Black Clocks Target Area Woman

Elaine Odell of Beaverton, OR wonders if she inadvertently answered the wrong question.

Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Idiot Exclaims: “I’m oppressed! Just watch them arrest me for storming the Oval Office.”

He was overheard shouting "Let's go Brandon" moments before being tackled by Secret Service personnel.

Supreme Court Justice Warren Buffett Found Dead

Longtime Supreme Court Justice Warren Buffett has died in his sleep according to the Omaha, Nebraska police department. His death, which comes after the suspicious passing of Justice Antonin Scalia's untimely death, further puts pressure on both President Biden and the Senate to appoint a successor.

Spicey Tells All: The Mooch CAN Suck His Own !#[email protected]

Newly appointed White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci sought to differentiate himself from President Donald J. Trump's former campaign manager Steve Bannon Thursday morning during an interview with the New York Times.

NASCAR Drivers Allowed To Use Service Animals

The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing or NASCAR announced early this week that it plans to allow service animals in select races in 2018 and on every race by 2020.

ISIS Spokesman: Terror Group ‘Really Grateful’ NRA Has Made Getting Guns So Easy

An unidentified Daesh fighter released a video on YouTube over the weekend praising The National Rifle association for "making it super-duper easy-peasy to get firearms in America."

Priapic Environmentalist Bragging about the Size of His Prius

He wants you to look at the size of his Prius.

Popular

Area Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Donald Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program

Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.

Mike Pence: Gay Conversion Therapy Saved His Marriage

In a surprise announcement today, Indiana Governor and Vice President-elect Mike Pence said that gay conversion therapy saved his marriage.

Mike Bloomberg Threatens To Buy Trump’s Debt

What can Mike Bloomberg do with Trump's debt?

Eminem Accidentally Says N-Word at Rap Concert

Acclaimed and controversial Detroit-area rap artist Eminem caused quite a stir this past week after uttering the "N-Word" over 14 times during a recent performance in his home town.

Must Read

Man Featured in Arrowed Circle Not Doing Anything Noteworthy

Keith Bradenshauer of Alta Sierra has released a highlighted photo that shows an area man doing absolutely nothing noteworthy.

Black Militias Spotted in Kentucky: Senate Immediately Considers Gun Ban

Senator Majority Leader Mitch McConnell suddenly has a change of heart.

Local Realtors Brawl Over Property Deal

The Nevada County Sheriff and EMT’s were summoned this afternoon to a south Nevada County home. 911 operators received a report of a domestic disturbance from the frantically distressed homeowners.

Nation Continues to Fill-Up On Bread, Despite Warnings

Americans are eating bread at an alarming rate, despite warnings from their mothers.

Scientists Confirm Truth Still True Even If Russian Hackers Find It

HAMPSTEAD, RHODE ISLAND -- Researchers at one of the...

Gary Larson Signs Exclusive 27 Year Deal with Gish Gallop

The Far Side -- On the heels of recent...

NaturalNews.com Overtakes CDC for Internet Citations

According to the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation, the Centers for Disease Control has fallen to third place in Internet citations. The 2 year study, which was commissioned by a grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, found that the CDC is now behind YouTube, which is second place, and NaturalNews.com which now occupies the coveted number one Internet citation spot.

Federal Judge Blocks California’s Sexual Harassment Ban

San Diego-based U.S. District Judge Roger Benitez said in a ruling Thursday that the law banning possession of subordinate females, and even some of the more effeminate males, would have made criminals of thousands of otherwise law-abiding citizens who now use sex as a weapon to keep employees productive.

Massive Brawl Breaks Out at Local Starbucks

Tensions ran high on Wednesday morning when a fight broke out between patrons waiting in the Grass Valley Starbucks drive thru. Many who had been waiting for the coffee giant's new offering, a colonic service.

SNL Producer Lorne Michaels Deported To Canada

Creator and Producer of Saturday Night Live Lorne Michaels has reportedly been deported back to his native country of Canada. Mr. Michaels was seized by immigration officials early Sunday morning from his Amagansett, New York home without any forewarning.

President-Elect Trump Creates New Social Media Network

President-Elect Trump announced today that he will be launching a new social media network that he personally will moderate and administer.

Merriam-Webster To Add Picture of Donald Trump To Definition of ‘Anus’

SPRINGFIELD, MASSACHUSETTS -- In a response to what they...

Area Pastor Defies Death, Converts to Atheism

A local pastor had a bit of a scare recently when he dropped dead of a heart attack. First responders were unable to revive him at the scene, and a defibrillator had zero impact as he was completely dead.

Lifestyle

Project Blue Beam Scientists Create Cat Over Nevada City [VIDEO]

Several readers have contacted Gish Gallop with reports of a mysterious beam of light emanating from the sky above Nevada City, CA. According to more than one caller, the mysterious beam of light seemed to originate on Coyote Street in north Nevada City, and the proceeded to climb into the upper atmosphere where it appeared to transform into a large cat. No injuries were reported.

Michigan Doesn’t Just Look Like a Mitten, It Sounds Like One Too

You already knew that Michigan looked like a mitten. But did you know these facts about the state?

Del Oro Tower to Offer Free WiFi For Grass Valley

The Del Oro theater in Grass Valley, CA and the popular movie streaming service NetFlixâ„¢ announced early Thursday that the theater's iconic tower on Mill Street will provide high-speed Internet to the downtown area.

Mike Pence Promotes ‘Black Conversion Therapy’ To Quell Protests

The Vice President attempted to walk back a statement he had just made a few minutes earlier.

Vladamir Putin: Obama, Clinton And Americans Are Pussies

Russian president, Vladimir Putin, in an in-depth interview with CNN chief international correspondent Christiane Amanpour that will air on the CNN networks just prior to the Republican and Democrat national conventions, had some harsh words for the American public and their leaders.

Elon Musk to Relaunch TV’s The Love Boat…in Space

Telsa and SpaceX super genius Elon Musk plans on relaunching the popular 1970s and 80s American drama comedy The Love Boat.

Local Parent to School: Whooping Cough and Measles “Good for the Herd”

The vaccines not only interfere with their natural immunity, they're being exposed to all kinds of things like mercury. And we know what that means. Autism.

Business

Teenage Boy Opens Refrigerator for the 14th Time in an Hour

15-year-old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley, CA has opened his family's refrigerator for the 14th time in the past hour for no apparent reason.

Fox News #1 With “People Who Stare at TV All Day” Demographic

The Fox News Channel captures critical, old, white television market.

John Travolta’s Got Chills, They’re Multiplying

Rydell High School's Danny is not feeling well as of late.

Koch Brothers Opens PayAdvantages Payday Loan Service in Grass Valley

In what Koch Industries is calling a "novel and effective way to give back to local communities," the American mega conglomerate announced late Monday night that it plans on opening one of their popular PayAdvantages™ payday loan and check cashing stores next to the DollarTree® in Grass Valley.

Amazon Announces Home Abortion Kit

Amazon.com is going to start delivering Earth's first home abortion kit.

Ayn Rant: Hillary Clinton Calls Atlas Shrugged “a boyish fantasy”

At a recent speaking engagement in suburban Pittsburgh, former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton went off script to criticize Ayn Rand's 1957 Objectivist novel Atlas Shrugged as "a boyish fantasy not grounded in reality, but rather a comic book tale."

Border Collies Deployed to Keep Chihuahuas Out

According to DHS, since Operation El Perro Loco secretly launched in March, after Congress refused to fund President Trump's border wall.

Donald Trump Planning Mar-a-Lago “West” in Grass Valley Kmart Parking Lot

According to leaked documents from the Trump administration, corroborated by Wikileaks, Donald Trump Enterprises plans on building a replica of the President's Florida estate in the former gold rush town of Grass Valley, CA.

Mayweather and McGregor To Wear Rompers During Fight

Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather will come together in an epic boxing match on August 26. The fight is expected to earn the fighters upwards of $180 million dollars, but it is not what the fight would mean if Mayweather loses that has captivated audiences.

Area Man Fails to Live Up to the Promises of His Deodorant

A Truckee man has sunk into a deep depression after realizing that his underarm deodorant failed to create the manliness he was looking for. 31-year-old Jerry Heard came to this discovery after his trust Old Spice "Swagger"  didn't actually produce any actual swagger in his life.

More Galloping

Confirmed: Second UFO Spotted Over Nevada County

Another pilot has come forward with photograph revealing a second Unidentified Flying Object or UFO over Nevada County.

North Korean Leader Upset American Sniper Not About Him

Pyongyang, North Korea -- In a bizarre press release...

Rival Deer Found in Grass Valley Front Yard

Grass Valley, CA -- This morning a local reader...

Gish Gallop Review: Finnegans Wake is an Impenetrable Piece of Crap

What's the difference between a pile of dog crap and Finnegan's Wake? You can avoid the dog crap by walking around it. I have to read and review Finnegan's Wake.

Misc. Crap for Sale in Cedar Ridge

Really just a bunch of crap to put with your existing crap

Popular

Area Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Donald Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program

Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.

Mike Pence: Gay Conversion Therapy Saved His Marriage

In a surprise announcement today, Indiana Governor and Vice President-elect Mike Pence said that gay conversion therapy saved his marriage.

Mike Bloomberg Threatens To Buy Trump’s Debt

What can Mike Bloomberg do with Trump's debt?

ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and 3 Others Dead in Fiery Car Crash

Authorities in Houston announced this morning that a fiery car crash last evening took the life of Texas native and ZZ Top guitarist, Billy Gibbons.

Hillary Clinton Found Dead Of Apparent Suicide

According sources close to the Clinton campaign, the Democratic nominee had come to see herself as the chief obstacle in winning the White House.