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Chemtrail News

Vaping Stops Chemtrails, Study Says

Local Sierra Super Stop parking lot orator and ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced the discovery of a completely safe and effective method for neutralizing the blanket of chemtrails over Nevada County.

Area Woman Woman Launches Gluten-Free Singles Site

Nevada City resident and chemtrail clothing entrepreneur Ardwelia Kushborn took matters into own hands this past week and launched GlutenFreeSingles.com, which she described as "a place where gluten-intolerant singles can find the perfect match."

Zuckerberg to Put Select Facebook Groups on a “Time Out”

Facebook announced on Wednesday that it will put several Nevada County Facebook Groups on a "time out" until they can get their histrionic behavior under control.

Flat Earthers Call On Trump to Change His Anti-‘Globalist’ Language

A Group of Flat Earth believers is calling on President Trump to stop using the word "globalist."

Area Excavator Guy Exercises His Climatology Know-How

After what can only be called a bark beetle plaque that has killed tens of thousands of drought-weaken trees around California, excavator operator Rob Barrick had a starling revelation: the massive tree die off is mostly due to Chemtrail spraying operations and not the common bark beetle.

Obama Can Now Shoot his “Gay Agenda” with Rainbows, Conservatives Claim

According to American Conservatives, a recent photo distributed by the White House proves that President Obama has terrifying magical powers to make, in their words, "the Gay Agenda more real than it ever has been."

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Ben Franklin Employee Tired of Answering Abortion Questions

Local Ben Franklin checkout clerk Jill Baker is tired of answering Pro-Life and Pro-Choice inquiries from customers. Over a year after the ruling, she is still fielding questions from both conservative and liberal customers about her abortion preferences.

Record Store Day Violence Breaks Out Across America

Massive brawls broke out between vinyl enthusiasts and police at several independent record stores Saturday, leaving an embarrassing scar on the 10 year anniversary of ‘Record Store Day.'

Republican Strategists Plan To Run Ebola Virus For President In 2020

Washington, D.C -- In the aftermath of Donald Trump's shaky performance in the first two Presidential debates, along with his percentage in the polls on the decline, and several of his fellow...

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Area Survivalist Not Sure What He’s Preparing For

Area survivalist and cattle rancher Bryan Buxton of Penn Valley, CA has spent over 15 years collection and storing food and weapons in his backyard underground bunker when it occurred to him this week that he had no idea what he was preparing for.

Area Woman Confounded by Roundabout

Mary Shilling of Penn Valley became confounded Sunday afternoon after a run-in with Grass Valley's roundabout.

Info Wars Website Fans Dismayed at Lady Gaga’s Relatively Normal Halftime Show

Fans of Alex Jones' InfoWars website were disappointed on Sunday by the normalcy of the event.

Donald Trump Claims 10 Billion Illegal Immigrants Voted For Hillary Clinton, And That He Has Cured AIDS

In a blast of tweets Sunday afternoon, President-Elect Donald Trump raised eyebrows all over the country by seemingly implying that the election he himself won was fraught with voter fraud.

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