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Chemtrail News

Vaping Stops Chemtrails, Study Says

Local Sierra Super Stop parking lot orator and ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced the discovery of a completely safe and effective method for neutralizing the blanket of chemtrails over Nevada County.

Area Woman Woman Launches Gluten-Free Singles Site

Nevada City resident and chemtrail clothing entrepreneur Ardwelia Kushborn took matters into own hands this past week and launched GlutenFreeSingles.com, which she described as "a place where gluten-intolerant singles can find the perfect match."

Zuckerberg to Put Select Facebook Groups on a “Time Out”

Facebook announced on Wednesday that it will put several Nevada County Facebook Groups on a "time out" until they can get their histrionic behavior under control.

Flat Earthers Call On Trump to Change His Anti-‘Globalist’ Language

A Group of Flat Earth believers is calling on President Trump to stop using the word "globalist."

Area Excavator Guy Exercises His Climatology Know-How

After what can only be called a bark beetle plaque that has killed tens of thousands of drought-weaken trees around California, excavator operator Rob Barrick had a starling revelation: the massive tree die off is mostly due to Chemtrail spraying operations and not the common bark beetle.

Obama Can Now Shoot his “Gay Agenda” with Rainbows, Conservatives Claim

According to American Conservatives, a recent photo distributed by the White House proves that President Obama has terrifying magical powers to make, in their words, "the Gay Agenda more real than it ever has been."

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Local Black Man Banned From Nevada County Store For Being “GMO”

Local African-American Michael Noble was shocked today when he entered a local Organic supermarket for spices and poppy seeds, only to have the manager and an off-duty Nevada County Sheriff force him out of the store for being a "GMO".

Follow-Up: Area Weatherman Selling Meats on the Ridge

There appears to be a door-to-door meat selling bonanza happening in Nevada County. Area patent troll and weather genius Giovanni Paolo recently admitted to Gish Gallop that he sells a series of quality Omaha steaks to the residents of North San Juan and Camptonville. Along with his high quality meats, he sells a variety of "exotic" local animal proteins as well.

Area Waitress Attempts to Serve Passive-Aggressive Customers

Area waitress Saylor Chrissy is tired of people with their smartphones ruining her day and the days of other hard working people by posting their negative reviews on Yelp.

ISIS Attacks Bolster GOP’s Agenda

Proving that global politics produces strange bedfellows, many Republican loudmouths are glomming onto the recent terrorist attacks in Paris as evidence that “other” people should not be welcome within “our” borders. And subtlety is not their specialty.

Team America: World Police Depart For Paris

In light of the recent terrorist attack in Paris, France, and the possibility more might come, The United States' premiere fighting force, Team America: World Police departed for France early Thursday morning.

Penn Valley to Deny “Gay” Marriage Licenses

A group of local Christian activists have banded together to prevent same-sex marriages from happening in Penn Valley, CA. The group, called Citizen Against Non-Traditions or CAN'T, seeks to prevent anyone from gaining a marriage license in the rural, largely conservative town.

Police Fraternity Planning a Surprise Party for Quentin Tarantino

Following comments made by American film director and actor Quentin Tarantino at a New York City protest, the Fraternal Order of Police Officers announced last week that it was planning a "surprise party" for him as a way of thanking him for his recent "support" of police officers.

Brian Williams: I Was At Ben Carson’s 1997 Stabbing

Brian Williams admitted to a small press conference that he was at the 1997 stabbing event of Presidential hopeful Ben Carson. The stabbing event, which apparently occurred in Mr. Williams' mind, happened when the soft-spoken neurosurgeon was at a Christian event speaking about Old Testament history.

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