May, 2022

Sesame Street Announces New Transgender Character

The Sesame Workshop, formerly known as the Children's Television Workshop, announced that its flagship program Sesame Street will feature its first transgender character for the 2019 season.

Latest

Rand Paul Salutes Dead Kids For Dying For Your Liberty

Calls for Rand Paul to resign are growing.

Several Kids Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In

Wilburn Marvin accidentally overslept this morning, missing his chance to save hundreds of people from an active shooter situation.

Anti-Vaxxer Group Gets Polio on India Trip

A group of "anti-vax" Christian evangelicals became very ill after visiting one of the world's poorest places.

Pink Floyd Reunion Album to Feature Donald Trump Cover

In what has both fans and critics excited, members of the often estranged prgressive/psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd haved announced a reunion tour to support their surprise upcoming album called Tree.

California’s Secret Plan to Turn Texas Blue

A secret document reveals California's plans to make America blue.

Donald Trump ‘Open To The Idea’ Of U.S./Russia Corporate Merger

Alleged billionaire and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told reporters this week that he'd be open to a corporate merger between Russia and the United States should he win the election in November.

Hurricane Dorian Found Dead on Florida Man’s Front Porch

Jacksonville gator "farmer" George Reed Wambles took it upon himself to take care of what he called "the fake news media hysteria."

Trump Campaign Leaks Nude Photos Of Ana Navarro To Drudge

Just when you think the Trump campaign can’t sink any lower, they seem to find a way. There seems to be no topic too dark and no angle too deviant.

Alabama Rapist Can Finally Have The Family He Never Had

Alabama rapist George Weed Wambles thinks his State's new anti-abortion law gives him hope for finally having a family.

Los Angeles Dodgers Refuse Trump Visit

The Dodgers have told President Trump to "take a hike."

Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program

Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.

Mike Pence: Gay Conversion Therapy Saved His Marriage

In a surprise announcement today, Indiana Governor and Vice President-elect Mike Pence said that gay conversion therapy saved his marriage.

Mike Bloomberg Threatens To Purchase Trump’s Debt

What can Mike Bloomberg do with Trump's debt?

Donald Trump Planning Mar-a-Lago “West” in Grass Valley Kmart Parking Lot

According to leaked documents from the Trump administration, corroborated by Wikileaks, Donald Trump Enterprises plans on building a replica of the President's Florida estate in the former gold rush town of Grass Valley, CA.

Must Read

Nevada City Offers Wikileaks Julian Assange Asylum

A group of Nevada City, California activists are celebrating tonight after they have successfully lobbied the city council to grant Wikileaks founder and chief spokesman Julian Assange political asylum in the town.

ISIS Invades and Attacks Area Man’s Brain

Mr. Jason Dant, 32, informed his social network "friends" that he intends to enter into "battle" with these forces until liberty and the American Christian way has prevailed.

Parents Sue Fortnite for $42 Million Claiming Emotional Distress

It's unclear how the parent group arrived at the $42 million number. The class now involves 420 parents who seek relief from the game's publisher.

Study: Red Meat Consumption Unrelated to Manliness

scientists have concluded there is no discernible correlation between the amount of red meat consumed and the raw masculinity of the men consuming it.

Terrible Stock Photo Toons Volume 6

Welcome to volume 6 of Terrible Stock Photo Toons.

Hillary’s Debate Sparring Partner an Orange Bag Of Vomit

The Hillary Rodham Clinton presidential campaign gave reporters a little insight into how their candidate prepared for tonight's highly-anticipated presidential debate between Clinton and Donald Trump.

Pat Robertson Attributes Long Life to the Blood of “Sweet, Sweet Liberal Babies”

The controversial and unexpected comments where made during an interview on the Glenn Beck-un website The Blaze, which was celebrating the 38th Anniversary of The 700 Club.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Subaru Announces 2023 Limited Edition Bernie Sanders Outback

Japanese automaker Subaru announced earlier this week that it plans on releasing a limited run of what is tentatively called the Bernie Sanders Outback LE or Limited Edition.

Area Teenager Treated For Heatstroke After Being Forced to Mow Lawn

Area teenager Kevin Thomas (17) of Grass Valley said he needed to be treated for heat stroke after being "brutally forced" his family's 200 square foot lawn over the weekend.

Area Wife Forces Husband To Live In New Boat

Frequent traveler, exotic animal collector and Cedar Ridge, CA resident Pete Johnson found himself in trouble over the weekend after he purchased a new fishing boat without telling his wife who unceremoniously kicked him out of the house. Mr. Johnson is currently living in his new boat which is docked 60 miles away in the Sacramento Delta.

Area Woman Has World’s First Tinfoil Scalp Implant

Nevada City, CA -- A local woman has made...

Traveling Meat Salesman Harasses Grass Valley Neighborhood

Traveling meat salesman Paul Sieben got a negative earful on Wednesday when he unsuccessfully went door-to-door attempting to get the residents of Rhode Island Street to buy his meat products. Mr. Sieben, who works for the Consolidated Meat Distributors, LLC has been selling meat out of the back of his Ford Taurus for over 12 years and recently decided to try the Nevada County territory.

Lifestyle

New Sunglasses Out Trump Supporters

A construction worker named John Nada claims to have discovered a way to identify supporters of Republican presidential contender Donald Trump. He says he stumbled upon a box of sunglasses that, when worn, change the appearance of Trump supporters to "skeleton-like monsters."

Deep State Claims Jeffrey Epstein is QAnon

A leaked document sheds new light on who the mysterious QAnon or 'Q' might be.

Militia Bringing the Fight to George Soros

It’s been a busy 2016 for APART (Armed Patriots Against Radical Terrorists) militia leader Rob Remus, who first gained national attention after his platoon of self-proclaimed “patriots” conducted a pre-dawn raid against what they believed to be a “terrorist training camp” run by the Islamic activist group, Muslims of America (MOA).

Breaking: Elon Musk Vows to Create Decepticon Army

Somewhere beneath Palo Alto, CA – Hidden away, deep...

Fukushima Radiation Detected in North San Juan, CA

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd that two of his three Geiger counters were registering abnormally high levels of radiation.

Eminem Accidentally Says N-Word at Rap Concert

Acclaimed and controversial Detroit-area rap artist Eminem caused quite a stir this past week after uttering the "N-Word" over 14 times during a recent performance in his home town.

Yuba River Male Gender, Not Female Study Finds

According to researchers at the influential Rundex Family Foundation in Palo Alto, CA, the three forks Yuba River should be referred to using male adjectives.

Business

VA Claim Backlog Adds To Veteran Suicide Rate

Many veterans have simply given up hope. Rob told Gish Gallop that he still has other body injuries, but he cannot afford the treatment. He also knows the claim may never be processed, so why try? He simply lives with the pain everyday.

Fearful Nation Braces for 2017

With the Thanksgiving holiday behind them Americans are beginning to acknowledge that 2017 is a mere month away, leading to heightened anxiety as they wonder how bad of a fisting they'll receive from 2016's big brother.

Patriot Group to Replace Lady Liberty with Robert E. Lee

A militia-patriot group announced that it will petition the government to replace the Statue of Liberty located in New York Harbor with a giant monument of Robert E. Lee, the Confederate General who commanded the Northern part of Virgina during the Civil War.

Woman Hides from Jehovah’s Witnesses

La Barr Meadows, CA -- Local work-from-home woman Stephanie Aldleson...

Megadeth/Bernie Sanders to Join Forces at Hillary Clinton Rally

As the November election approaches, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has just been greeted with another round of good news. The pioneering heavy metal band Megadeth has offered to play at an upcoming Hillary Clinton rally on Saturday, October 15th in Macon, Georgia, and the Clinton campaign has enthusiastically accepted.

Trump’s Ingenious Plan to Stop ISIS

Among the many scandals plaguing the Trump administration in the last few weeks, the secret arms deal Trump negotiated with Middle Eastern nations appears to have evaded the scrutiny of the mainstream media.

Holographic Kurt Cobain to Appear at 2018 CES in Las Vegas

After what people are calling the most successful and exciting Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in 2017, organizers of the yearly festival have announced that rock legend Kurt Cobain will close out the 2018 3 day event in holographic form sponsored by Samsung.

Leak: Facebook Feeds Managed By Two Grumpy Men in a Balcony

According to this anonymous source, who wished to only be identified as "Miss P" for fear of retaliation,  provided an internal memo the detailed how Facebook makes decisions about what appears on your feed.

Area Woman Thoughtfully Fondles Eggs

Gish Gallop caught up with Ms. Williams at the egg stand on her weekly shopping trip for groceries. She was thoughtfully fondling the eggs.

Flying Girl Caught on Camera in Sierra County [VIDEO]

Gish Gallop has obtained an incredible video that depicts what appears to be a supernatural event. In a mobile phone video supplied by James L. McKnight of Grass Valley, CA, what appears to be a normal road side "pee break" for a Mr. McKnight's dog Bullit, turns into a paranormal event than he will never forget.

More Galloping

Confirmed: Second UFO Spotted Over Nevada County

Another pilot has come forward with photograph revealing a second Unidentified Flying Object or UFO over Nevada County.

How to Make Fucking Refried Beans, by Loretta Splitair

Your parenting guilt is easily fixed with the following recipe that not only your children will love, but it makes a kick-ass pot of refried beans.

Board of Supervisors to Supply Local Halloween Blood

As Halloween approaches, a Nevada County Attorney is stocking his wine cellar with the blood of Nevada County taxpayers. The October 27th Nevada County Board of Supervisors meeting agenda Consent Calendar requests an additional $150,000 to Count Tolancuono’s Grass Valley law firm.

Supervisors Approve “Adult” Halloween Treating

The board voted 5 to 2 in favor of allowing adult county residents to hand out revelry packages to other adults on All Hallows Eve, who thought county residents might enjoy a little light-hearted fun, make some new friends, and start their weekend off with a bang.

Ben Carson: Obamacare Stealing Your Identity and Cloning Your Poo

As I was investigating this debauchery, it occurred to me, my poo is already smarter than a Democrat. Can you imagine how dim a Democrat’s poo is? Worse, can you imagine how obtuse a Democrat poo clone would be?

Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program

Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.

Mike Pence: Gay Conversion Therapy Saved His Marriage

In a surprise announcement today, Indiana Governor and Vice President-elect Mike Pence said that gay conversion therapy saved his marriage.

Mike Bloomberg Threatens To Purchase Trump’s Debt

What can Mike Bloomberg do with Trump's debt?

ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and 3 Others Dead in Fiery Car Crash

Authorities in Houston announced this morning that a fiery car crash last evening took the life of Texas native and ZZ Top guitarist, Billy Gibbons.

Hillary Clinton Found Dead Of Apparent Suicide

According sources close to the Clinton campaign, the Democratic nominee had come to see herself as the chief obstacle in winning the White House.