Washington D.C. — According to the National Institutes of Health, which tracks such data, many new parents in the face of the general pessimism following what many are calling 2020’s horrible events have taken to channeling their frustrations in new and creative ways. Starting in December 2020, Nibiru has become the number 1 trending baby name in the United States and New Zealand.
The Nibiru cataclysm is a supposed disastrous encounter between the Earth and a large planetary object (either a collision or a near-miss)that certain groups believe will occur in the early 21st century. Believers in this doomsday event usually refer to this object as Planet X or Nibiru.
The idea that a planet-sized object will collide with or closely pass by Earth in the near future is not supported by any scientific evidence and has been rejected by astronomers and planetary scientists as pseudoscience and an Internet hoax. Regardless of whether it’s true or not, frustrated new parents are using the conspiracy name to “sublimate” their anger over the events of 2020.
Why are People Choosing This Name?
“The Wife and I were Bernie Sanders supporters,” said San Francisco resident James Beardly. “And then when he got screwed by Hillary and the DNC, our moods soured. Then we had a lot of anger sex, which was great, but then we got pregnant. Because bringing a child into this messed up world wasn’t a priority, we thought we take David Letterman’s advice and name your baby when you’re angry. So we picked Earth-ending Nibiru. No middle or last name. Just baby Nibiru.”
As a non-gender-specific name, Nibiru has eclipsed Lucas, Liam and Noah, as well as previously popular girl names such as Olivia, Ava and Mia with many parents choosing for forgo middle and last names as well.
“Yeah, we wanted baby Nibiru to stick out,” continued Mr. Beardly. “You know, like Madonna or Beyonce or whatever. There’s no need for a middle or family name anymore since you won’t need them when the world ends sometime after January 20th.”