New York, NY — Rumors have been circulating around the offices of the NFL that Oakland, CA will be picking up an all-inclusive LGBTQ team for next season. The rumors are currently still unconfirmed, but sources say that this decision is coming from the top. Our insider source explained that a mysterious memo was seen floating around the corporate offices in New York, NY with details about the new team.
With pressure on other corporations to be more welcoming to LGBTQ-identifying people, the NFL might be following suit into the realm of “social justice”. This would be a bold move for Commissioner of the National Football League, Roger Goodell.
From what the alleged report states, the new team’s name will be something like, “Oakland Social Justice Warriors”. Team colors will be a juxtaposition of pink and baby blue. Also included in the report were rumors of the mascot is going to be, and the cheerleaders will be called “Liberettes“.
Employees we were lucky enough to ask about this strange memo that hasn’t been brought forth yet, say that this has been coming for a long time.
“I read the report. These rumors have been running around the office for almost ten years now,” said NFL spokesman Charles Brown. “It just took the boss enough pressure from the fags–I can say that right?–to finally cave in. Wait, can I say that? You aren’t recording this are you?”
Upon receiving this interview, I was removed from the NFL offices by security. Some people don’t appreciate good journalism.