Friday, April 23, 2021

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Nevada City to Host 2017 World Clay Cups Games Alternative to World Cup

Nevada City to host the 2017 Clay Cup Games
Potter’s hands making a pot in a traditional style.

Nevada City, CA — Is it wrong to make clay cups from organic materials while the world’s balls are on fire with masculine competition? Is it wrong to love the clay cups of the world and not the World toxic metal Cup of that Soccer establishment thing? To not get excited about a goal scored in Brazil while there’s potters wheel spinning near the Briar Patch?

The answer is no. Enjoy the Clay Cup you make yourself (no team needed) with love, not the corporate advertising mixed with mass hysteria you are force fed to like.

Let me tell you something. When I was a child I had what I thought was a brilliant idea: instead of arguing all those dramatic yellow and red cards (hopefully on recycled paper), countries with gripes should challenge each other to make the most beautiful clay cups to drink filtered Yuba water from. All the artist potters, young, old, and/or stoned, could be declared the winner without all the nastiness of scoring and waving imperialistic flags.

Our childhood plans for world peace  will try to pan out this week, as Nevada City hosts the “WORLD CLAY CUPS” games. Rivals will descend from Bed-sty, Brooklyn (this author’s crib); Portlandia; Detroit, MI; The Mission, SF; Camden, NJ; Greenpoint, Park slope, Brooklyn ( Shout out! Yo! Cronuts!); Montreal, Canada; Taos NM; Tijuana, Mexico; Key West, Florida; and Prague. Not to mention a home-schooled country that has no name and is made up of clay cup makers with no names.

The “World Clay Cups” games will draw massive crowds to Pioneer Park, and kiln rivalries will heat up with surprisingly intense emotions this week.

Clearly, there’s no need for us to feel guilty about not participating in the game that legitimizes kicking and pulling other men to the ground. No need for mixed feelings about switching to Polymer glazing from the Germany-Ivory Coast match.

In Europe, where fascism got a bad name after World War II, patriotic pride overflows with uncharacteristic fearlessness when the national teams play and dance. In the Gold Country, where spiritualism and passive-aggressive commerce grew after the Hippie Revolution of the late 1960’s, wholesome humility shines forth with typical heart-based “kookiness” when clay cup makers astral project their mugs on one another.

Even people who never pay attention to clay cups, known almost everywhere as clay-to-hand-to-mouth football, are cheering, are starting to brag, at least as far as Grass Valley, about what handle is more elaborate than what header is more striking in the 80th minute. But then again how absurd to keep time ready for Portugal!

It is not wrong to watch the world cup of soccer, it’s just not healthy. And it has been proven to be way more toxic than shaping clay using natural materials.

Around the globe, the World Clay Cup is a source of  true excitement, except for the moment when one’s drunken Uncle knocks over your creation to get at the cable remote to turn up the sound on “GOAL! GOAL!”. But here’s the beauty: when your clay cup breaks the disappointment is deep, the sadness should be spoken about and shared in a group therapy the following eve. It’s not the spiritual emptiness and “high” achieved by a penalty shot that puts your squad into the next round. We need more cups in this world, clay ones, so please join Nevada City in presenting the 1st annual World Clay Cups Games this week.

And remember it’s not just an alternative to a plastic cup filled with soccer stadium beer.

It’s really not the end of the world. It’s just a new Nevada City alternative to the rest of the world’s fun.

Oh and men, you don’t have to wear a cup to this thing.

Let the clay shaping-into-mugs begin.

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