Millennials Start Revolution With Safety Pin Attack On Wealthy Neighborhood

Safety Pin Movement a clever disguise to carry weapons for Millenials.
Safety Pin Movement a clever disguise to carry weapons for Millennials.

Beverly Hills, CA — Many people are un-happy about the election of Donald Trump as our next President. It has really taken a toll on young Millennials who were forced in to their safe spaces the day after the election to escape the new reality. But now, days after the vote for President, Millennials are calling for revolution in our country.

The first attack in the revolution took place yesterday on Rodeo Dr. in upscale Beverly Hills, California. Millennials , all wearing safety pins to designate them a safe person/space for those who need it, took off their safety pins and began poking shoppers and tourists. All in all over 120 people were injured, the paramedics that responded ran out of band-aids while attending to the wounded.

Tipper Allison was one of the victims of the safety-pin attack, she spoke to Gish Gallop about her ordeal.

“It was just terrible, at first I felt so safe and comforted by all the people wearing pins, but they turned on me,” said Tipper. “How can I ever trust again after this, they poked me on the tips of my fingers?”

Millennial spokesperson “Timothy,” released a statement to the media after the attack.

“The first shots of the 2nd American revolution have been fired. We will not stop the attacks until Donald Trump is no longer President!”

Gish Gallop tried to reach out to “Timothy” to see how the safety-pin movement could be perverted to injure people. We were told by those close to him that he was in his “safe space” where no one could talk to him unless it was about Birkenstocks.

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Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.