Susan Hobson likes her new YOLO tattoo.
Susan Hobson likes her new YOLO tattoo.

Grass Valley, CA — 28-year-old Millennial Susan Hobson finished getting her 6th tattoo “inked” on Saturday at a popular Grass Valley tattoo studio.

“It’s a star spider YOLO and with a Lady Gaga lyric” said a happy Ms. Hobson outside the Church Street studio. “I love tattoos and hope to get more below this one. I’ve got one here [pointing to her foot]. I’ve got one here [pointing to her hip]. And I’ve got one here [readers: we can not share this location]. There’s the leopard and rose on my arm. Now this new #YOLO star spider on my shoulder and Lady Gaga on the other.”

YOLO, short for You Only Live Once, is a popular Millennial corruption of the phrase Carpe Diem or “seize the day” popularized in the English language by the 17th Century poet Andrew Marvell in his  poem To His Coy Mistress. It is also widely considered by anyone other than Millennials to be a “dipshit” interpretation of the aphorism.

Misquoted and grammatically incorrect tattoo.
Ms. Hobson’s misquoted and grammatically incorrect tattoo.

“All my friends have tattoos,” continued Ms. Hobson, “it’s how we can show the world that we are all different, on the edge, you know? Plus they look cool. And it’s all mine.”

Millennials, or Generation Y are the demographic group that have birth dates ranging from approximately 1980 to the early 2000s. Called the “Me, me, ME” generation by Time Magazine, Millennials are noted to have a disregard for superfluous convention and tradition, are extremely confident and have an extraordinary amount of tolerance towards differing cultures and lifestyles. They are also noted for their extreme sense of entitlement, acute narcissism and generally dumb ass behavior. Experts say these generational personality traits will lead to a massive transformation of Western Culture by simply doing nothing and not participating.

According the Pew Research Center, upwards 32% of all Millennials have tattoos making the once rebellious body art form, not so rebellious and quite common. But of course, they don’t care.

“I think it’s pretty clear that if you have a tattoo these days,” commented a local Father who chose to remain anonymous,” you’re not unique or edgy. You’re kinda by definition, just like everyone else.”

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