Dothan, AL — Homer Derpwitz is a landscaper in Alabama. He is a veteran of the US Army, where he served as a cook for the 4th Infantry Division, and every 4th of July, he gets increasingly angry that people use it as a long weekend instead of a time of remembrance.
We spoke to Homer at his trailer, where he was on his 10th beer and 25th Facebook meme of the day.
“These ‘sumbitches just don’t get it, this isn’t a time for fun, this ain’t no game,” screamed Homer. “They need to remember all the sacrifices made for this country, not stuff their faces with hot dogs!”
Homer is not alone. Many Facebookers post-hastily-made and ill-conceived “memes” to remind us what we should be thinking about on this holiday, people like Jesse’s neighbor Melanie Collins who runs a cosmetology business out of her trailer.
“Many men stood for this country. Mine didn’t make the lazy bastard. He is too busy looking at that floozy Donna Whorebitch, or whatever her name is,” said Melanie. “I bet if 4th of July was written on her ass, he would remember it!”
When you enjoy your weekend, don’t forget to post your memes to Facebook to show you care about our servicemen and women.