When people die, it's good for the herd.
When people die, it’s good for the herd.

Nevada City, CA — Lisa Fellows has two children at Yuba River Charter School. William, aged 10, and Betsy, aged 13. She home-schooled both of them until they were 8, and then she decided that each needed a more “socially diverse environment” to grow. Ms. Fellows is a firm believer in not vaccinating her children.

“It’s clear that pumping these vaccines into our children is poisoning them,” said Ms. Fellows who possesses neither medical or chemistry degrees. “The vaccines not only interfere with their natural immunity, they’re being exposed to all kinds of things like mercury. It’s simply not worth the risk. And we know what that means. Autism. And, um. Autism.”

According to vaccine expert Alicia Silverstone, “there’s this book by Drs. Roizen and Oz that shows there has not been a conclusive study of the negative effects of such a rigorous one-size-fits-all, shoot-’em-up schedule. There is increasing anecdotal evidence from doctors who have gotten distressed phone calls from parents claiming their child was ‘never the same’ after receiving a vaccine.”

Ms. Fellows is even more adamant about spreading “immunity,” as she calls it, to other kids in her children’s class. Her oldest, Betsy, has whooping cough.

“Look, it’s not enough to vaccinate your children. You have to encourage an ‘immune response’ in the herd to that it can stay strong and control the weaker ones,” said a serious Ms. Fellows.

Experts and officials almost unanimously agree that vaccinations are safe, and that unvaccinated children should never be allowed at school.

“Clearly Ms. Fellows has the ‘herd immunity’ thing backwards. Dangerously backwards,” said an insider heath official. “Just look up ‘herd immunity’ on Wikipedia to understand how far off she is.”

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