Grass Valley, CA — The Nevada County chapter of APART or Armed Patriots Against Radical Terrorists announced over the weekend on their Facebook page that because of the Hillary Clinton loss, they plan on using the Brunswick Basin’s new cell phone tower to observe and contain “liberal insurgents” during the post-election insurrection. The local militia, which hastily formed this week in response to Donald Trump’s win, is led by Penn Valley, CA patriot Jason Dant.
“It’s the perfect location for recognizance and if necessary, sniper operations,” said Mr. Dant pointing to the tower as he shoved a Burrito Supreme into his mouth outside the Olympia Park Road Taco Bell. “The people of America don’t understand what’s happening to this country. Trump was our last hope and now that the election has been stolen by the ‘libtard media, we have to take a defensive positions.”
APART made headlines earlier this year when the group conducted a pre-dawn raid on a suspected terrorist training camp located in a remote section of Charlotte County, VA. Run by the Islamic activist group Muslims of America (MOA), the compound has been featured on various conservative news outlets for having suspected ties to the Islamic State. After a tense 10-hour standoff, the militia group was forced to stand down when the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Department sided with MOA and threatened the militia with felony trespassing and weapons charges. Since then, chapters (called “extensions” by APART’s founder Rob Remus) have been sprouting up all over the country in preparation of a Hillary Clinton presidency.
“That’s what this is a really all about,” continued Mr. Dant, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. “Pretty much everyone with a gun may at least consider this. Everyone without a gun will cry, and hug a tree. Then the government will outlaw all guns, because of the toddlers. I was going to hide in my bomb shelter, and I kept telling myself ‘when I come out I will be president because I’ll be the only one left with a gun.’ But then I thought about my country and God and I had a change of heart. You have to fight for your rights.”
According to Elite Wireless, the contractor leading the installation of the new tower, it’s not a good idea to climb up there.
“It’s not only illegal to climb a cell phone tower, you would be trespassing,” said project foreman Jack Ellis taking a moment from directing a crane. “There are all kinds of things that could go wrong up there. I mean, other than getting arrested, you could be seriously injured up there if you don’t know what you’re doing.”
Despite the dangers, Mr. Dant is not giving up.
“Look, it’s worth the risk. Jefferson said the ‘tree of tyranny needs to be watered with the water of the blood of your enemies,’ or something like that,” Mr. Dant continued stumbling over his thoughts. “And we’re the water and libtards are the tyranny trees.”