Michael Noble just prior to be kicked out.
Michael Noble just prior to being kicked out.

“As an African-American, Michael Noble is the product of three and a half centuries of eugenics. He is therefore genetically modified, and we do not allow GMOs in our stores. We here stand by our claims to be free of Genetically Modified Organisms, and we are so proud of that. As is the case here, we won’t even sell our products to GMO consumers, let alone actual GMOs.”

Noble was shocked to have been called a GMO.

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“I never thought words could hurt me. When someone calls me the ‘N’ word, I look at them and I smile, because I know I’m an educated and wealthy black man. I even laugh at jokes about those stereotypes. They don’t hurt because they aren’t true. But, I can’t deny being a GMO. I can take the racism, I can even take the awkward de-facto racism with everyone trying to act cool around me because I happen to be black. But realizing that I’m the one thing I hate most in this world, a GMO, makes me reconsider living.”

Noble petitioned to have the definition of GMO updated. The clerks at the Nevada County Superior Court, all too excited to be a part of the more progressive state of California, told Noble, “Its aight, brotha. Me and my homies in this heezy got yo back on this one. You people still say “heezy”, right?”