Aspiring author Roy Riffle of Nevada City.
Aspiring author Roy Riffle of Nevada City.

Nevada City, CA — A burgeoning Nevada City author admitted today to a small group of his friends that he often inserts typos and other usage errors into online Facebook comments just to “fit in.” Area writer and part-time poet Roy Riffle made the admission to his small author’s group while they were enjoying street tacos at Nevada City’s popular Mi Pueblo Taqueria on Union Street.

“So the thing is,” Mr. Riffle admitted to his friends, “sometimes I insert unnecessary commas into Facebook comments just so I don’t look like a snob. I also deliberately mix up the words ‘there, their and they’re’ just to keep it real with my more proletariat locals. I know I can be so OCD about usage and grammar, so I’m doing my best to fit in, you know?”

Roy Riffle has lived in Nevada City all his life. During the same grammar confession, he announced his intention to write the town’s equivalent of James Joyce’s Ulysses.

“History,” Roy pronounced to the indifferent crowd who were busy updating their Instagram accounts, “is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake. A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery. Because every life is in many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves.”

His companions rolled their eyes and were not impressed.

“See Roy,” said close friend and local tech worker Brent Underwood, “when you talk like that, no one can understand you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s probably brilliant or something. It’s just that people get confused easily in the era of Trump, you know? I guess this deliberate error thing is a start, but maybe you could just start speaking at the 6th grade level.”

For Mr. Riffle’s part, he’s promising to “bring it down a few notches” to connect with “the people.”

“I know I’ve got this problem,” continued Mr. Riffle. “I’m a work in progress just like everyone else. The object of the artist is the creation of the beautiful. What the beautiful is another question.”

- Advertisement -