Lake Tahoe, CA — A tragedy unfolded this past weekend when a Shiba Inu named Rusty succumbed to a wave of Chemtrails that appeared over Lake Tahoe. According to his owner, Devin McClauvich of Grass Valley, Rusty was having an ordinary day of being a dog until the Chemtrails showed up.
“It’s just terrible,” said Ms. McClauvich in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “He was running around doing his normal ‘sniffing people’s crotches thing,’ when these asshole Chemtrails appeared. I couldn’t get my spray bottle of vinegar out quick enough, and he just rolled over and stopped moving. I hope the people who did this die. I hate them.”
Although Rusty was the only animal to succumb to the massive Lake Tahoe Chemtrail spraying over the weekend, several others reported allergy and respiratory issues they blamed on this the “global conspiracy to control our skies.”
“So we had just finished breakfast at South Shore [South Lake Tahoe],” said Concord, California retiree Margaret Snow who was already on her 2nd rum and coke. “And I couldn’t breathe. My doctor says it’s my Pall Malls, but I know it’s these Chemtrails poisoning us. Anyhow, when I looked up and saw them, I ran back inside the casino and started playing the nickel slots. Safer in there, you know?”
Despite Rusty’s tragedy, Ms. McClauvich plans to make the best of a terrible situation.
“I’m going to fight back,” continued Ms. McClauvich. “I’ve started Rusty’s Chemtrail Memorial Fund to help take back our skies. The money will be used for Chemtrail awareness billboards I plan on putting up around the State. It’s how I’m making lemon aid out of lemons, you know?”