Justice Scalia’s Death A Hoax

Justice Antonin Scalia
Justice Antonin Scalia

Washington D.C. — Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia has been reported dead by all major news sources today. Scalia, 79, is well known for his sharp wit and controversial decisions. Scalia reportedly died in his sleep.

This all started with one phone call being made to NBC news, supposedly from a family member, reporting the death of Justice Scalia. But the audio of the phone call is not being played because it will reveal the prankster. Gish Gallop has received an audio file from an unnamed source within NBC, it contains the audio. At the end of the recording you can hear the caller say “Bababooey, Howard Stern’s Penis”.

NBC would not comment on the leaked phone call. It is this reporter’s opinion that they simply did not want to acknowledge that they were fooled again. This seems to be a conspiracy to raise the Conservative blood pressure before Super Tuesday Caucasus.

The Howard Stern Staff also had no comment.

Justice Scalia is expected to host a phone interview later tomorrow.

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Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.