New York, NY — A New Jersey woman is recovering at Mount Sinai Hospital after getting hit in the head by falling Bitcoin earlier today on 33rd street underneath the Empire State Building. Jan Tippington was jogging with her husband when 42 falling Bitcoins pelted her. The 42-year-old mother of two said she initially didn’t feel anything, but due to volatile cryptocurrency prices, she was unconscious when she arrived at 6th Avenue.
At the time of impact, Bitcoin was valued at $1000, but within one minute, it skyrocketed to approximately $145,654.42. No word yet on if the injury sustained by this woman and her athletic family were a factor in the further plummeting of the famous fake coin. While Bitcoin is not a physical, solid object, it does carry substantial weight.
That weight came to bear on a New York jogger’s head as she exercised her morning run through Manhattan’s financial district.
“I had no idea Bitcoin, or any other cryptocurrency, would be plummeting from such heights yesterday,” a wounded Jan Tippington, the jogger, said from her hospital bed. “If I knew what could happen, I wouldn’t have been running around that part of town.”
According to the NYPD, Jared Pedosandy threw the Bitcoin from the observation deck at approximately 10:34 am. Details are unclear, but according to accounts from bystanders, Mr. Pedosandy had just thrown away his gum seconds after tossing the cryptocurrency over the barrier and screamed something about John Lennon.
“He was just wandering around talking about John Lennon,” said Carol Kranonivich, who was visiting from St. Paul, Minnesota. “Then he took out a stick of Juicy Fruit, chewed it for about 10 seconds, and then threw it out. What kind of animal does that?”
There are no reports of anybody being hit by the falling gum.
Tippington, expected to recover fully, has no hard feelings about it.
“Look, it could have happened to anyone. But, of course, this would have never happened if the crypto market wasn’t so volatile.”