Tampa, FL — Shriners Hospitals, famous for treating children, announced Monday that four of its facilities would begin offering controversial gender reassignment services for patients who require them. According to Shiner’s spokesperson Bethany Millbright, they received a sizable grant from an unlikely source.

“We are grateful to the Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump Foundation for their generous and sizable donation,” said Ms. Millbright on an early morning conference call. “This 250 million matching grant will go a long way for ensuring that patients who require gender services will finally get the care they need.”

Shriners Hospitals for Children is a network of 22 non-profit medical facilities across North America. Children with orthopedic conditions, burns, spinal cord injuries, and cleft lip and palate are eligible for care and receive all services in a family-centered environment, regardless of the patients’ ability to pay.

Headquartered in Tampa, Florida, the hospitals are owned and operated by Shriners International, formerly known as the Ancient Arabic Order of the Nobles of the Mystic Shrine, a Freemasonry-related organization whose members are known as Shriners. Conservative critics of their recent announcement are linking various conspiracy theories to the new services.

“Look, you gotta understand the control the Jews and the Masons have on our country,” said Cricket Brown, an out of work Waste Management technician from Stone Mountain, Georgia. “They’re behind income taxes and the Illuminati. They are the Deep State. This hospital business is just a cover. A feel-good thing.”

Still others, even Trump supporters, question Jared Kushner’s involvement.

“I don’t trust that Kushner character,” opined Mary Beth Jones of Beckley, West Virginia. “He’s trying to make the gays more powerful. I mean, down here in the hollers, we don’t do any of that transgender stuff. They may do that over yonder in New York, but not here in God’s country.”

According to Ms. Millbright, services will start early next year in Cincinnati, Sacramento, Portland, and Spokane.

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