Houston, TX — Fans of Alex Jones’ InfoWars.com website were disappointed on Sunday by the normalcy of the event.  Alex Jones had reported on his website that her halftime show would be a “ritual for Satan.”

We asked several people at the local watering hole for their thoughts on the performance.

“All in all I feel a little robbed, I was expecting a human sacrifice and all I got was a bunch of people waving around flashlights and a pop star prancing around in a sparkly leotard,” said Nathan Reginald Auckland, 42 from Topeka, KS. “I didn’t WANT anyone to die, but if that had happened, I was fully ready to join my Christian brothers and Trump that Reptilian, you know, if she doesn’t have any pet gerbils or hamsters it’s a dead giveaway that she’s a Reptilian. Do you think Reptilians can be cloned? What if there are synthetic cloned Reptilians? Is that even possible?”
Travis Macdonald of Fresno, CA thought that maybe there was more going on than the average person could see “no nipples, no Illuminati, no sacrifice. I feel a little let down, my little brother said it was a level 6 Illuminati service to Satan but you could only see it if you were woke enough. I guess I’m just not there yet. My mom vaccinated me but not him. My brother says that Super Bowl LI was the Roman numerals for 2017, The birth name for Matthew is LEVI, and Tom Brady is definitely a believer in God so that kind of ends that conversation.”
“Siobhan” (one name only) of Plano, TX thought the performance was brilliant.
“One of the best halftime shows ever,” exclaimed Siobhan. “When she started with This Land is Your Land I nearly screamed. That’s how you do it, that’s how you stick it to the Trump people. She really showed them, we will not be divided, we love everyone equally,” Siobhan continued.  “I really hope those right-wing nut jobs get the message that we don’t care about their opinions or views, because we are about inclusion. I’m still flying high from it.”
Others offered standard Alex Jones boilerplate.
 “My cousin is an online video game developer and he said it was all CG,” said Andreas Howe, 37 of Billings, MT  who thought that it was a false flag operation. “The jumping off the roof, the drones and most of the dancers were too. Plus she lip-synced, she didn’t play the piano and she’s fat.”
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