Washington DC — In what his supporters say is another example of Mr. Trump’s generosity, the President announced free helicopter rides for all Black Lives Matter and ANTIFA protesters. According to the Trump spokesperson during a recent
campaign event press event, the rides will take place with the help of “Federal law enforcement,” who will offer one-way, all-expenses-paid trips over either the Pacific or Atlantic oceans.
“The President got the idea watching a History Channel documentary on Chile,” said Trump 2024 spokesperson Kane Malaise. “He floated the idea by some golf buddies, who all thought it was a terrific idea.”
According to several Mar a Lago insiders, the defeated President wanted to pilot Marine One for these missions. After several meetings with cabinet-level officials who explained that it was risky for him to steward an advanced helicopter, Mr. Trump changed his mind.
The former personal pilot of Chilean dictator Pinochet admitted that “many times,” he threw prisoners into the Pacific ocean. Helicopter flights were also used to make bodies of already killed dissidents disappear. Trump’s addition to the Atlantic Ocean is seen as an innovation and an example of his “genius” business acumen.
“This is another example of our true President playing 4D chess,” said Boise, Idaho’s Gene Harrold, who runs the Republican political action committee Freedom Potato-PAC. “Not only did he add an Atlantic Ocean option for these people, but he also wanted to save the taxpayers money by doing it himself. He’s already giving away his paycheck; now he’s rolling up his sleeves for real Americans like me.”
As coined by Trump himself, Operation Tremendous Vacation is scheduled to begin in the first two weeks when he becomes President again.