The Clinton family dog Gidget has apparently committed suicide.
The Clinton family dog Gidget has apparently committed suicide.

Little Rock, AR — Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has made a very sad announcement. The Clinton family dog Gidget has died. As if the dog’s death wasn’t sad enough, it has been discovered that the dog committed suicide by eating 10 chocolate bars.

Gidget has been in the spotlight recently as she was set to testify before an FBI investigation panel. She was said to have witnessed Hillary deleting emails from her home office. There have been dogs that have testified in murder cases in the past, so the FBI had contacted dog expert Manuel Ferrara to see if it were possible to interview Gidget about what she saw. Manuel Ferrara spoke to Gish Gallop about his process.

“Dogs are very eager to please, so by simply asking them the question as you would a human they are eager to comply,” said Ferrara. “50% of the time it works 100% of the time.”

Many alternative news outlets like Woo Army News are claiming that the dog was killed for what she knew. They claim that Hillary has a body count of 57 former employees and security that have died under suspicious circumstances. Erin Ely of Woo Army News had this to say about the dog’s death.

“How does a dog eat 10 chocolate bars? It is not like she had thumbs! This is another hit to silence a witness.”

Chelsea Clinton who is taking the blame for Gidget’s death, said she accidentally left the candy out where Gidget was able to get it. She is planning a full funeral for Gidget on Sunday. Senator Diane Feinstein of California, who will be attending the funeral, has asked that flags in the state to be lowered to half-staff for Gidget.

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