Roseville, CA — 5-year veteran CarMax car salesman Sherman Hoover performed an emergency car birth late yesterday afternoon after a pregnant 2011 Land Cruiser unexpectedly gave birth to its offspring. The mother Land Cruiser, which was driven by 57-year-old Garrett Deasy of Grass Valley, CA, had arrived early in the afternoon for a trade-in when it unexpectedly gave birth to a baby.
“I had no idea my Land Cruiser was pregnant,” said Mr. Deasy, an English teacher at Nevada Union High School in Grass Valley. “I’m just glad Sherman was there to help. If it had been one of my snotty, disrespectful students, who knows what would have happened.”
Mr. Sherman took it all in stride.
“This is the 3rd car birth I’ve had to perform in my time here,” said a proud and grinning Mr. Sherman. “When Mr. Deasy pulled up, I rushed out because I knew what was happening. He didn’t have a clue. He got out of the vehicle, and I rushed to the hatchback to deliver the baby.”
According to CarMax Sales Floor Manager Don Edge, customers can’t trade in baby cars with their “parent” ones.
“Some people get very upset when we tell them we won’t accept offspring automobiles along with their main trade-in,” said a diplomatic Mr. Edge. “We’re not that kind of outfit. Some places will do that, but not CarMax. Anyhow, Mr. Deasy didn’t like that as he thought we had just won the jackpot. He told us to just ‘just keep it’ because that was the last thing he needed.”
As for Mr. Deasy, he’s angry about the transaction but is happy with his brand-new used 2014 Prius.
“Yeah, those cretins wouldn’t accept the baby Land Cruiser. The spoiled, entitled kids. But I did get them to throw in some floor mats for my Prius.”