Chip Day of Grass Valley

Grass Valley, CA The Day Family had a minor crisis Saturday when no one in the family had the gumption nor the courage to clean the household’s two new high-efficiency toilets.

“Here’s the thing,” said family patriarch Chris Day, “we put in these high-efficiency toilets back in June. We got them from Home Depot on sale. And they do use a lot less water, for sure, but they don’t, um, stay as clean as our old American Standard ones that used to require a pond’s worth of water just to flush.”

One of the Day Family's toilets in question. Please do not click on this.
One of the Day Family’s toilets in question. Please do not click on this.

Many families across California have installed High efficiency, “dual flush” toilets in their homes to conserve water. Because these modern toilets do not have a siphoning action like older designs, they require less water and employ a two-stage flushing system: the first abrupt flush for “liquid” waste, and a longer, sustained handle flush for “solid” waste. Occasionally, the flusher engages only the first action for solid waste, which can lead to hand-to-clean “shit stains” inside the toilet bowl.

“There is no way I’m gonna clean that,” said a defiant and concerned 13-year-old Lisa Day. “I’m sure David did that because he’s trying to get me in trouble.”

According to experts, there is a behavioral transition period after installing dual flush toilets. This can lead to embarrassing situations for first time guests and visitors.

“I first used one of these damn things when Peg and I were eating in Nevada City a few months back,” said an irritated Cedar Ridge resident Tommy Empire. “I had to run to the toilet cause I’m sure it was something that I ate. Anyhow, I did my business, and did the quick flush. Well, let’s just say it didn’t go down. So I did it again. Same thing. So I just left it for the next guy.”

As for the Day family, it looks like the chore will be left to mother Claire.

“I’ll find another chore to do for the kids,” explained a stoic Claire Day. “I can understand why they wouldn’t want to clean it. It will just take a second anyhow.”


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