New York, NY — We see it all the time, on the news or in the paper, or even on Law & Order: dead bodies are often found in trash cans and dumpsters. James Fettorcini is a trash collector in the Bronx, NY. He holds the official Department of Waste record for the dead bodies found, and as impressive as the record is, it is beginning to weigh on him.

Gish Gallop spoke with James about his record.

“Yeah, man, 41 dead bodies. Everything from kids to hookers.” James looked off in the distance. “I can’t believe this has happened to me. At first, the notoriety was great, the guys even bought a cake when I got the record, but those were people.”

We asked James if he had sought treatment from a therapist.

“Yeah, but she just wanted my autograph to see the pictures I took of the dead bodies. What the hell is wrong with people?”

Two days after the interview with James, we heard he found two more, bringing his record count to 43. Mr. Fettorcini declined to comment.

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