Barstow, CA — In what appears to be a copy-cat attempt gone awry, 37-year-old Barstow, CA native Jeff Hughston’s life almost came to an end this weekend when he attempted to launch his homemade, kerosene-powered rocket from within his Mother’s basement. Mr. Hughston, who is a believer in the Flat Earth Theory and a science denier, was attempting to beat Mike Hughes of Amboy, CA, into the atmosphere.
Mr. Hughes made headlines earlier this week when he announced his plans to launch his steam-powered rocket into the skies over his town in an attempt to educate people on the dangers of science, which he called an attempt to raise awareness of the Flat Earth.
“I guess I’m lucky to be alive,” said Mr. Hughston, speaking on the telephone. “I mean, I didn’t realize how dangerous this whole thing was. The idea was I was going to blast out through the basement doors when my Ma was at work. Well, it didn’t go as planned, and now I have a lot of explaining to do.”
Although his rocket operation seemed hasty, Mr. Hughston had planned this experiment for over ten years in one form or another.
“I’ve used different kinds of prototypes. You know, drones and rockets. it took me about five years to figure out how to put cameras on them,” explained Mr. Hughston. “But when I finally got a rocket camera high enough to prove the Earth was flat, the pictures came back with a curved horizon. That is when I realized that camera manufacturers were in cahoots with NASA, who’s being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk. I mean, Google it and see for yourself. Don’t just believe me. They don’t want you to know that the Earth is flat.”
Apparently, Mr. Hughston’s prototype rocket ignited properly, but the 37-year-old failed to aim it correctly out the barn-style basement doors and instead launched the 7-foot vehicle into the ceiling. According to the official report filed by the Barstow Police Department, the fire department was summoned to the Hughston residence at approximately 2 pm on Sunday when a neighbor called 9-1-1 and reported a massive bang that shook the neighborhood. Within seconds, Townsend Street home had dark smoke billowing out of the basement. When the fire department arrived, the blaze had primarily been extinguished.
“Well, I’m no dummy,” continued Mr. Hughston. “I had fire extinguishers and other things in case of a disaster. But in retrospect, I might choose a different propulsion system and consider not launching it from my Mother’s basement.”
The home suffered approximately $27,000 in smoke and fire damages, not to mention the losses from the destroyed rocket and its associated support equipment.
“Yeah, I was living down there. I had everything set up just perfectly too. Stuff like my computer and my mini-fridge, which Mom kept stocked with Red Bulls. But I’ll guess I’ll have to figure something else out now. I hope Mom doesn’t find out about this. Else she’s gonna be really mad at me.”