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Nevada City, CA — Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated earlier this week when his daughter’s Birthday Gift, a “retro” Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix. No one seemed interested in the gift purchased from the Salvation Army until Mr. Grant insisted that the children play with this “cool” toy.

“I just don’t get it,” said Mr. Grant during a telephone interview. “We followed the directions to a ‘tee,’ and the mix was all gooey after 45 minutes.”

“Warren went through the house and replaced all of the light bulbs with LED ones,” said wife Stacy Grant. “It’s really saved us a lot of money so far. However, the initial $400.00 investment caused a little stress on our budget.”

Mr. Warren is not deterred, however. He told Gish Gallop that he intends to keep at it. That he’s “not a quitter.”

“I specifically purchased the ‘warm white’ tone for the Easy-Bake,” continued a frustrated Mr. Grant. “I think I’m going to try the 6000K temperature bulbs to see if they make any difference in the cooking times.”