Concord, CA — Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump declined an invitation to hold a one-on-one debate with a large cardboard box, the New York business announced at a campaign stop in the San Francisco suburb of Concord, CA. Mr. Trump, who has been criticized for abruptly declining to debate the Socialist Insurgent Bernard Sanders (D-Havana) after saying he thought it was a good idea, said that “it seems inappropriate that I would debate the second place finisher or any kind of paper product.”
“As much as I want to debate this large and formidable cardboard box,” said Donald Trump at a campaign stop at the Sun Valley Shopping Mall in Concord, CA, “and it would be an easy payday, I will wait to debate the first place finisher in the Democratic Party, probably Crooked Hillary Clinton, or whoever it may be. Which could be the cardboard box. And if it turns out that the cardboard box is the winner, then OK. I like winners. America needs more winners.”
According to supporters of the cardboard box, who is currently polling ahead of Hillary Clinton in California, but behind Senator Bernie Sanders, the cardboard box has real achievable policies unlike Mr. Trump’s mostly contradictory and whimsical propositions.
“Cardboard boxes’ positions are much more realizable than anything Mr. Trump has put forth,” said cardboard box media spokesperson Bethany Millbright speaking from cardboard box headquarters in Reno, NV. “We are disappointed but not surprised that Mr. Trump has backed out of this debate opportunity. It just shows there’s no substance to his blathering, and that he’s only ahead by appealing to the worst parts of America. However, we are confident that cardboard box will be on the stage with him on the run-up to the November election.”
Despite the rebuff by the Trump campaign, cardboard box will continue its aggressive campaign schedule up until, and according to insiders, even after the June 7th primary election.