Pyongyang, North Korea — In a surprise announcement, President Donald Trump finally conceded the 2020 election from Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea, early this morning. After spending the past two weeks either tweeting or golfing, the free world leader secretly left the White House sometime yesterday and boarded Air Force One for North Korea.

“They have some excellent golf course properties here in North Korea,” said Mr. Trump standing alongside Kim Jong-un inside the People’s Great Chamber, a facility built for the President’s visits and basketball games. “That’s what Kim tells me, at least. And besides, this is a place where I can get fair treatment from the media. So I’m going to stay here awhile for a visit with my good friend,” at which point Trump and Chairman Kim shook hands.

As Trump and Kim turned to walk away, the President paused to make a parting comment.

“Look, the election was a fraud. It was rigged. You know that. Everyone knows that. But there’s nothing we can do about that now. So I plan on staying here until next spring and fight for the American people,” continued Mr. Trump.

The People’s Daily, the official DPRK news agency, was the only media outlet to cover the event. No other media outlet was allowed to enter the country, and no United States-based pool reporters accompanied the President on this clandestine and unplanned trip.

According to White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who along with a skeleton crew including Stephen Miller, Jared Kushner, and Chief of Staff Mark Meadows traveled with Trump, there is no planned departure date. Although Mr. Meadows did mention that Jared would be joined by his wife Ivanka after Christmas, they plan a “permanent vacation” on their recently purchased Maldives Island estate.

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