San Ramon, CA — Claiming that he can no longer be subjected to the hypnotism of his creator, Dilbert, the progeny of cartoonist and ardent Donald Trump apologist Scott Adams, announced today that he was seeking a restraining order from his creator. Dilbert filed the order in Contra Costa Superior Court in Martinez, CA.
Scott Adams, famous for his long-running cartoon strip Dilbert, is a trained hypnotist who believed in 2016 that he was a murder target of presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. During that same time, Mr. Adams became enamored with Donald Trump thinking he was of a like mind. And by like-minded, we mean both are crazy.
Adams is formerly a telecommunications engineer and since then has embarked on a whole new life as a social engineer. He now lives in a house shaped like Dilbert and has a large assortment of microwave ovens for making large quantities of burritos and popcorn at once.
“That’s where it starts to get creepy,” said Dilbert in a brief press conference outside the Martinez courthouse. “Who does that? It makes a house look like a person. Look, I respectfully decline the invitation to join his hallucination. And he needs to stay away from me.”
But Wait, There’s More
Along with fears of being assassinated by an older woman, Adams has also expressed doubts about the Jewish Holocaust and the validity of evolution via fossil records and maintains that atheism is a form of dogmatism. He often claims that the media is misrepresenting what he says, even though he says these crazy things. All this and much more has led the usually skeptical cartoon character to request legal distance from him.
“They say one way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead,” continued Dilbert. “Well, I’ve done that for years, and I’m tired of the gaslighting. I’m afraid for my well-being, and frankly, I’m tired of that. This guy is nuts.”